By Cassondra Lynn, age 15, California
As a few of you have no doubt experienced, when it comes to relationships some people cheat. As someone who has both cheated and been cheated on, I feel a certain responsibility to share what I've learned and answer some questions people have about the subject.
Why Did They Cheat?The first thing you need to realize about the problem is that it's not your fault. People cheat because:
- They're bored with the relationship.
- They're unsure about their feelings towards you.
Remember too that some people are just immature, and are easily attracted to anyone cute or new, or anyone who pays attention to them.
First off, it's true that some people get bored in a relationship. I know that it's happened to me, and I'm sure some of you can relate too. There's not much you can do about it. That's their problem.
Second, if your partner is unsure about his or her emotions, they may cheat just to find out if they like you or not. It sounds stupid, and it pretty much is, but it's a fact of life.
You can't stop your partner from cheating. The cheater may think that you could have, but you cannot. If they want to cheat they will. No stopping them.
Should I Take My Partner Back?ABSOLUTELY NOT! It doesn't matter how much you "love them". If it happened once, and they got away with it, it will happen again. You can't put yourself through that; you can't let them make a fool of you like that. If he or she cheats, dump 'em and move on. End of story.
I'm Thinking about CheatingWell, I can't stop you if you're going to cheat. But remember, thinking about it and actually doing it are two different things. People who think about cheating are most likely just bored with their relationship. If you're thinking about it, then take this into consideration:
- How would you feel if your partner did it to you?
- Do you really want to put your partner through that?
- Is it worth losing your boyfriend/girlfriend for an hour or so of fun?
- Why are you thinking about it in the first place?
They Cheated on Someone Before ... Will They Do it Again?It is a possibility. They are probably easily bored in a relationship. Keep things as interesting as you can. But in the end, like I said before, there's no stopping a person from cheating.
My Partner Is Acting Funny, and I Think He's Cheating. What Should I Do?First of all, don't overreact. In fact, you should not act at all until you know for sure, or else you just look stupid. Talk to him or her about what's bothering them. Watch their behavior. And once you know for sure that you have a cheater on your hands, I believe they deserve punishment. But do not stoop to their level.
- If you catch your man cheating, slap him right across the face. Hard. In front of as many people as possible. Embarrass him. It's the only way he'll learn.
- If you catch your woman cheating, talk to her about it. Maybe squeeze out a few tears. Don't be mad, be upset. Make her feel bad.
It is my personal belief that the only way to stop a cheater is to teach them a lesson. This will stop them from cheating on anyone else. If my friends and ex-boyfriend had never made me feel absolutely terrible about myself, I'd probably be cheating on my current boyfriend. But I've learned my lesson and now I don't even think about doing it. If you really love someone, you'd never want to put them through something like that, and I'm hoping that's common sense.
If you are having a problem with cheating, feel free to contact me (Cassondra) using the response form below.