Do You Ever ...?
By Nicole, age 15
Do you ever get the feeling
of excitement yet so sad that it burns your heart?
The feeling that won't go away,
it eats away at your heart, your brain,
but you can't let it go.
You need it like a drug, like a bad addiction
and it just won't go away?
Well, I have.
It haunts me in the night.
The feeling of needing, wanting.
Love is a harsh thing.
It tears your heart apart, yet you keep needing it.
Why do we let it do this to us?
If it hurts so much, why do we do it?
We can't help it, it comes and goes,
and we have no control.
This love I have for Paxton, it's unreal,
Life without him would be miserable.
But with him, well, it's amazing.
It's breathtaking and beautiful.
Like nothing in this world can touch me
when I'm with him.
He makes me a better person when I'm with him.
But everything ends, right?
Even passion for another.
My life began with an end.
It ended with a slap.
It began with the Blast.
I don't know where I went wrong.
It must have been the word.
It was just that one simple word that really got to me.
I'd been hearing that word a lot.
Ever since the accident the word followed me around.
In hushed whispers behind my back,
from my therapist who had nothing better to do than say that word.
It wasn't supposed to happen.
I still think it was my fault.
If it hadn't been for me and my dance
it never would have happened.
She wouldn't have been speeding.
She wouldn't have been hit.
My life would be completely different.
I never would have met Paxton.
But it did happen.
She did get hit.
I did meet Paxton.
And I did meet Blast.