Who Knew?
By Ariel, age 14, Hawaii
One day I was walking in a park and I saw this little boy flying a kite. This kite was up in the air, not at its highest, but not at its lowest. I realized looking at this kite that I was struggling just to stay as happy as I was. I couldn't get any happier and I felt as if I were just held onto by one little string and someone was controlling it. Now there were no other kites in the air; it was all alone. I felt alone, as if there were nobody helping me or trying to save me, just this one person holding onto my string. My life was basically like a kite. It never used to be this way.
When my two best friends died on September 23, 2007 my life was ruined. It was hard enough having my two best friends dead, but everything else got out of hand too. My next best friend Molly was really all I had so I trusted her with my life. When I look back now I sometimes wish I hadn't. I mean, who knew that during this time Molly was hooking up with my boyfriend of two years? The worst part was that she was pressuring him into doing things and he just gave in. This was exactly a month after Cherie and Lucy died. I still hadn't accepted the fact that they were dead, and once Molly admitted to me what she had done I was in such pain I began to drop down crying at the most random places and times.
My best friends Cherie and Lucy
Of course, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. It was a big fight, but our relationship didn't end yet. Still it broke my heart knowing I really couldn't trust anyone in my life. I didn't end the friendship with Molly after what she did because a true best friend would understand. Yet our friendship kept falling and falling. I was so immature then when I think about it because, even though she and I were still friends, I should have been the bigger person and just forgotten about it. I was so mean to her, and then I realized I had to stop.
Now that lasted maybe a good two months. Once I stopped Molly kept being totally mean to me, and that went on for about six months, and we ended our friendship, then went back to being friends again. She never actually said she was sorry to me; she actually sounded proud of it for some reason. My boyfriend and I stopped talking and then started talking again. Eventually we just split apart, but I still think of him all the time, and I still see him, but we never talk.
Christopher and I holding hands.
During these months I grew so much stronger and I relied on myself so much more. I stopped doing some drugs because it was so bad for me at the time, and now I'm totally clean and it feels great.
One day at school Molly and I had to do a mediation where we had to sit in a room and figure out our problems. It didn't solve anything. In fact, I thought it made things worse. Neither of us would be the bigger person, so we just kept getting into fights. She and I are alike - we hate losing a fight. Everyone loves her so much more than me, and I still don't understand why, because I still feel like she's not such a great friend. One day I texted her saying that we both needed to build a bridge and get over it. The next day I received a letter saying she was sorry, and that she did it because she wanted to make me know how it feels to have love taken away. By the way, a piece of advice to girls who want to do what Molly did to me - don't do it. It only makes things worse for you. I told her it was the most messed up thing a friend could do, and I wouldn't take her apology, although I've learned that not forgiving her wouldn't solve anything, so I told her I forgave her ... which doesn't stop the pain from coming.
My friend Molly and I
Now we are not as close as we were before, yet she is the closest thing I have to a best friend. Molly might be one of the worst friends I have, but at the same time she's also the best. Don't ever end a friendship over something like I went through because, believe me, it's not worth it. You have to understand that people make some of the dumbest mistakes in life, and you can't let it affect you.
Yeah, I still love my ex-boyfriend, if you were wondering. I always will! He taught me so many things about life, and he was such a great man. He has a new girlfriend now (unfortunately), but I know that deep down he still loves me too. Throughout my year of going through all of this I planned for it to turn out totally differently. I guess that is the one thing you can always plan for ... change.
