By Cassondra Lynn, age 16, CaliforniaI'm a very self-motivated person, and whenever I picture my future husband, I imagine him as motivated also. So what was I supposed to feel when the boy I fell in love with was the complete opposite of motivated?
I've been with him for a year and three months now. At first, I tried to inspire him. You know, "You can do it!" When that didn't work, I started to pressure him, making sure all his homework was done, and that he was trying his best. His grades remained D's and C's.
Then I had the bright idea to try and change him. We ended up fighting about it constantly and almost breaking up over it. I was running out of ideas. I want him to have the brightest future possible, and his current status wasn't going to get him there.
Finally I just gave up for the most part, hoping he would grow up in time.
For the last week or so, he'd been really depressed and he wouldn't tell me why. He was defensive and moody. Everything I did was wrong in his eyes. (Girls, you know how that is.) Finally he broke down and told me.
It turns out that as a child he was diagnosed with moderate to severe dyslexia, but his mother never told him. After he brought his progress report home last week (all D's and one A in PE), his mom finally told him.
His whole life he's been constantly mocked for not being able to read well. He's never been a good or even satisfactory student.
He was ashamed of his learning disorder; I was ecstatic. The way I see it, I told him, now that we know what's wrong, we can work to overcome it. "We can get through this!" I said to him.
He was overjoyed by my reaction. Now we're looking into help, to see how severe the disorder is, and to find ways to help him. I'm glad I can finally do something.
So far, things haven't been going too well. His father insists he's fine and never was dyslexic, though he has every symptom, so he refuses to get him help. Meanwhile, my boyfriend is feeling more taunted than ever by his so-called best friend, the only other person he told about his dyslexia.
So now I want your opinion. What do I do?? Do I try to find him help, or at least get him tested for dyslexia? I'm already telling his friend to back off; my boyfriend doesn't need this stress right now. But I'm stuck. What can I really do to help him? And where would I find help? If you have your own personal opinion or story to tell, or just have an idea to help, you can use the feedback form below. Thank you.