Losing Your Love to Suicide

By Lauren, age 16, Pennsylvania

What is it like to deal with losing your best friend and love of your life to suicide? I had a best friend I was in love with named Franco. He was my best friend since the third grade and we never really lost touch. I was there when his father died, his step-dad died, and when his mom picked up her drug habit. His sister would kick him out every week and his mom was never home. She was always out shooting up heroin.

He used to come to my house in tears. He had bone cancer which made his life so much worse. We fought a lot, but somewhere in between I fell in love with him. When I had the guts to tell him he said he loved me back. This all happened about two years ago when I was in 8th grade.

One night he called and said he couldn't handle it anymore. Soon after he signed onto AIM. I talked to him for hours and thought I stopped what would happen next.

The next morning I woke up to a call from his mother. He was in the hospital in a coma from trying to O.D. Every day I went to see him, hoping and praying he would wake up. People say pain is stubbing your toe or breaking a bone, but real pain is watching the person who made you feel alive in a deep slumber you cannot wake him out of. For weeks I watched him lay there lifeless, sitting by his side, kissing his head.

One night I came home to a phone call from his mother. "Lauren, I'm pulling his life support. He should be dead by tomorrow morning." I stayed up all night crying. I couldn't even go to school. The next morning he was pronounced dead.

After that experience I will never be the same again. I still think he's going to come knocking on my door or come give me a hug. I wish he would come home. R.I.P. Franco.

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February & March Magazine Issues

March 15, 2012

The February and March issues of Sweet Designs Magazine are now online, featuring a combined 53 new articles and features!!

- Cover: Stephanie Lynn reflects on 5 years
- Cover: India (of Darn-licious knitwear)
- Life in the dumps (moving in with my bf)
- The difference between men and women
- Angels among us (parts 1 and 2)
- Arts graduates & the dark night of the soul
- Triple threat (how I survived my teen yrs)
- Dating isn't easy (my true story)
- How to turn not-so-great gifts ... (fashion)
- Ten reasons to love being single
- Taking the big leap (college)
- Valentine's Day (not what you'd expect!)
- The last of the cold (hopefully) (fashion)
- A month full of love
- Ten tips for successful airline travel
- Reasons I love writing for SDM
- Who needs love?
- They're not all the same
- The life I'm glad I don't have (fiction)
- Professional dress/ finding Fendi (fashion)
- An airport anniversary: a true story
- Inappropriate Facebook photos
- The perks of a big city (college)
- A night(mare) to forget (part 2)
- The Anita Blake series (book review)
- Saving June by Hannah Harrington (book)
- Under the Mesquite by GG McCall (book)
- The Lullaby by Sarah Dessen (book)
- If I Stay by Gayle Foreman (book review)
- My sweetheart (original poetry)
- Isn't it funny (original poetry)
- The stranger (original poetry)
- A winter wonderland (original poetry)
- One night valentine
- The thick envelopes (college acceptance)
- Southern love
- Healthy hair and vitamins
- It's a date (dating idea alternatives)
- The 30 hour famine
- School's out forever!
- Marching right back into spring? (fashion)
- Dear John
- When TV shows depict your life
- 3 Fun ways to rock spring's hottest trends
- Neglected teeth
- Starting something new
- Guy movies
- To hesitate or dive in?
- Deadly, by Julie Chibbaro (book review)
- Beastly, by Alex Flinn (book review)
- I don't care (poetry)
- Together, alone (poetry)

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