Love Is a Game I Cannot Play
By Anne, age 18, Florida
The golden springs of summer doth rain upon her and one day might wake up her smile, which hath been hidden so as to protect the delicate soul within her. She is much more vulnerable to those who know her secrets, and she is afraid of the hold he has on her heart. How unfair is it that she cannot free herself? She yearns to loosen the bonds but they will not break. She tugs and cries pitifully but it is useless. Heartbroken. She cannot have him but she cannot let him go. Soon he shall be torn from her fingers, far out of her reach, all hopes to be dashed upon the rocks.
She wishes she could tear out her heart, that betraying organ that holds on to the smallest chance of happiness, but there is none. Her love is destined to be one-sided, never returned. She does not even believe those who profess to love her. Why should she? It could not possibly be true. There is no reason for any to love her. The three small words "I love you" have completely lost their meaning to her, except when used in reference to him, the one whose hold on her she fears the most of all.
Her love for him is not in the traditional sense. She needs him in her life. She would even bear the suffering of "just friends" if that meant she could still be around him. When she is having a bad day she doesn't need him to find a solution because the mere knowledge that he cares, even a little bit, makes it better. Why doesn't he understand that his presence brings her so much joy and enables her to carry on in her life? Without him she would be absolutely nothing. But he gives her sustenance. He makes her real. He numbs pain and enhances joy. He is her definition of a smile. And when he hugs her she knows that if she could stay in that moment forever then she would be happy. When she is without him she is broken. So, for now at least, she is broken.