Love Is a Game I Cannot Play

By Anne, age 18, Florida

The golden springs of summer doth rain upon her and one day might wake up her smile, which hath been hidden so as to protect the delicate soul within her. She is much more vulnerable to those who know her secrets, and she is afraid of the hold he has on her heart. How unfair is it that she cannot free herself? She yearns to loosen the bonds but they will not break. She tugs and cries pitifully but it is useless. Heartbroken. She cannot have him but she cannot let him go. Soon he shall be torn from her fingers, far out of her reach, all hopes to be dashed upon the rocks.

She wishes she could tear out her heart, that betraying organ that holds on to the smallest chance of happiness, but there is none. Her love is destined to be one-sided, never returned. She does not even believe those who profess to love her. Why should she? It could not possibly be true. There is no reason for any to love her. The three small words "I love you" have completely lost their meaning to her, except when used in reference to him, the one whose hold on her she fears the most of all.

Her love for him is not in the traditional sense. She needs him in her life. She would even bear the suffering of "just friends" if that meant she could still be around him. When she is having a bad day she doesn't need him to find a solution because the mere knowledge that he cares, even a little bit, makes it better. Why doesn't he understand that his presence brings her so much joy and enables her to carry on in her life? Without him she would be absolutely nothing. But he gives her sustenance. He makes her real. He numbs pain and enhances joy. He is her definition of a smile. And when he hugs her she knows that if she could stay in that moment forever then she would be happy. When she is without him she is broken. So, for now at least, she is broken.

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February & March Magazine Issues

March 15, 2012

The February and March issues of Sweet Designs Magazine are now online, featuring a combined 53 new articles and features!!

- Cover: Stephanie Lynn reflects on 5 years
- Cover: India (of Darn-licious knitwear)
- Life in the dumps (moving in with my bf)
- The difference between men and women
- Angels among us (parts 1 and 2)
- Arts graduates & the dark night of the soul
- Triple threat (how I survived my teen yrs)
- Dating isn't easy (my true story)
- How to turn not-so-great gifts ... (fashion)
- Ten reasons to love being single
- Taking the big leap (college)
- Valentine's Day (not what you'd expect!)
- The last of the cold (hopefully) (fashion)
- A month full of love
- Ten tips for successful airline travel
- Reasons I love writing for SDM
- Who needs love?
- They're not all the same
- The life I'm glad I don't have (fiction)
- Professional dress/ finding Fendi (fashion)
- An airport anniversary: a true story
- Inappropriate Facebook photos
- The perks of a big city (college)
- A night(mare) to forget (part 2)
- The Anita Blake series (book review)
- Saving June by Hannah Harrington (book)
- Under the Mesquite by GG McCall (book)
- The Lullaby by Sarah Dessen (book)
- If I Stay by Gayle Foreman (book review)
- My sweetheart (original poetry)
- Isn't it funny (original poetry)
- The stranger (original poetry)
- A winter wonderland (original poetry)
- One night valentine
- The thick envelopes (college acceptance)
- Southern love
- Healthy hair and vitamins
- It's a date (dating idea alternatives)
- The 30 hour famine
- School's out forever!
- Marching right back into spring? (fashion)
- Dear John
- When TV shows depict your life
- 3 Fun ways to rock spring's hottest trends
- Neglected teeth
- Starting something new
- Guy movies
- To hesitate or dive in?
- Deadly, by Julie Chibbaro (book review)
- Beastly, by Alex Flinn (book review)
- I don't care (poetry)
- Together, alone (poetry)

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