How I Almost Lost My Best Friend to Suicide

By Ashley, age 16, Texas

My best friend almost killed herself. She's the one person I can tell anything to, the one person I would do anything for. She texted me at 10:30 on Tuesday morning while I was in lunch at school. I have never been the kind of person who breaks down, but when she told me she wanted to end her life I saw my heart break in two. How could I deal with this? If she were to end her life I would not know what to do with myself. She means the very world to me.

How did I deal with this?

At first, I cried till I couldn't breathe, then I cried till I couldn't breathe or see. I continued to cry till there was nothing left. But as I cried I told her how I felt about her, how much I loved her, and how much she meant to me. About two months ago I made my best friend promise me if we were not married by the age of thirty we would marry each other so we would not die alone. I felt like the one person who was never going to let me be alone was giving up on life and was deserting me, so I was mad, sad, hurt, and most of all, scared.

How I was able to help

I told her there was no way in hell I'd sit back and let her take her own life, so I gave her two options. She could either want help or she would get help. So either way I was not going to lose her. I had 911 pushed in my phone ready to go at any moment. Then she texted me and said, "How can I get help? I don't want to live like this, but I sure can't give up." So after I got out of school I picked her up and we talked for quite some time.

The system

When we got to the emergency room at 4:42 PM she signed the paper and we waited to be called. We were the first to be seen since her life was in danger. We got in there and faced our first set of problems - she's 17 and had no parent with her. At first they tried telling me there was nothing they could do, so I told them we were not moving till they agreed to help her. After almost thirty minutes of talking to other nurses and head shift leaders they decided her life was more important than the law. They also thought of a way around it - they called her mom and told her because she was in imminent danger it was legal.

I had to stay calm

After she got a bed, about two seconds later, a doctor came up and started asking questions. The first question was did she have a plan? (Mind you, I had not asked her this question because I knew, and I didn't want to hear the answer or the plan.) She answered, "Yes, I do. Take a handful of pills and go to sleep and pray I never wake up." At that moment I had heard the thing that would kill me, but I knew if I broke down it would hurt her, so I had to stay calm. How? Her feelings were more important at that time than mine. It was about her, not me, and I couldn't cause her any more pain.

Watching her go

They called a psych unit. It took them four hours to get the paperwork done and another thirty minutes to get there to transport her. It was hard to watch my best friend leave when all I wanted to do was hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay.


My best friend is now in the hospital getting better. They are expecting her to get out on Monday or Tuesday, depending on her response to treatment.

About every nine minutes someone dies of suicide; every ten minutes someone has to deal with it. It's never easy to help someone who is suicidal, but it sure is worth it.

Me with my best friend

A little bit about the best friend I almost lost

I met her my freshman year. (I'm currently a junior.) She was quiet, shy, and weird. I am not and never will be quiet or shy. One day I decided she could no longer be quiet. Boy, was that a mistake! Once I got her talking I haven't gotten her to stop since. All I did was ask for a piece of paper and I wrote, "What's up", and she said, "Doing my work." I never thought we would become the best of friends. I have so many great memories that I never get to just think about, and now I can't stop thinking about them.

My favorite memory

One night we got really bored. It was about 8:30, and she, our other friend, and I decided it was a nice time for a walk. Her mom said, "Be back by 11:30." We got back at 1:30. Between 8:30 and 1:30 we walked and talked and even laid in someone's driveway while looking at stars. We got back to her house and got blankets and fell asleep outside. At about 4:30 she woke me up and told me our friend had woken up and gone inside without us. We walked inside and saw our friend sprawled out on the bed. We picked her up and placed her on the floor and we went to sleep on the bed. This is my favorite memory because it was the first night she and I were one hundred percent real with each other.

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February & March Magazine Issues

March 15, 2012

The February and March issues of Sweet Designs Magazine are now online, featuring a combined 53 new articles and features!!

- Cover: Stephanie Lynn reflects on 5 years
- Cover: India (of Darn-licious knitwear)
- Life in the dumps (moving in with my bf)
- The difference between men and women
- Angels among us (parts 1 and 2)
- Arts graduates & the dark night of the soul
- Triple threat (how I survived my teen yrs)
- Dating isn't easy (my true story)
- How to turn not-so-great gifts ... (fashion)
- Ten reasons to love being single
- Taking the big leap (college)
- Valentine's Day (not what you'd expect!)
- The last of the cold (hopefully) (fashion)
- A month full of love
- Ten tips for successful airline travel
- Reasons I love writing for SDM
- Who needs love?
- They're not all the same
- The life I'm glad I don't have (fiction)
- Professional dress/ finding Fendi (fashion)
- An airport anniversary: a true story
- Inappropriate Facebook photos
- The perks of a big city (college)
- A night(mare) to forget (part 2)
- The Anita Blake series (book review)
- Saving June by Hannah Harrington (book)
- Under the Mesquite by GG McCall (book)
- The Lullaby by Sarah Dessen (book)
- If I Stay by Gayle Foreman (book review)
- My sweetheart (original poetry)
- Isn't it funny (original poetry)
- The stranger (original poetry)
- A winter wonderland (original poetry)
- One night valentine
- The thick envelopes (college acceptance)
- Southern love
- Healthy hair and vitamins
- It's a date (dating idea alternatives)
- The 30 hour famine
- School's out forever!
- Marching right back into spring? (fashion)
- Dear John
- When TV shows depict your life
- 3 Fun ways to rock spring's hottest trends
- Neglected teeth
- Starting something new
- Guy movies
- To hesitate or dive in?
- Deadly, by Julie Chibbaro (book review)
- Beastly, by Alex Flinn (book review)
- I don't care (poetry)
- Together, alone (poetry)

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