Together ... I Think Not
By Kimberly, age 18, California
When two thousand and nine started I figured it would be a fresh start for me, and I would be able to find a guy who wasn't a jerk like all the other guys I had met in the past year. Most of the guys I had gotten to know over the course of 2008 were not good guys and ended up hurting me really badly, so when the new year started I figured I would finally meet a new guy who wouldn't hurt me.
In some ways it actually did come true, and in other ways it did not. The guy I started talking to earlier this year was somebody I actually had known for a couple of months from my old job. I'd always thought Aaron was cute from the day I first met him, but I didn't think of it as anything as I got to know him. He was just one of my guy friends I was really cool with.
So time went on, and I started college, and I really didn't talk to him much once I left the job where Aaron and I were working together. At the end of 2008 I started talking to his best friend Jon whom I had known before I met Aaron, and I told him that I wanted to talk to Aaron again and get to know him better. That's when his best friend Jon gave me his number, and from that day on Aaron and I started talking to one another.
I never expected to end up talking to him in that way, but it made me so glad to get to know him and feel happy for once in a long time. We texted each other every single day, flirting with each other and having a good time. So after a week of talking we wanted to see each other, and since I could not have gone out that day he went to Jon's house, who happens to live right next door to me. Once Aaron told me he was over there I left for Jon's house, and I got to see him, and it was one of the happiest moments in my life. He hugged me really tight and close and it felt very nice. We went into Jon's room and talked and enjoyed each other's company. He walked me out as I had to get back home, and then a picture perfect moment happened. As he kissed me, I was standing up on my tippy toes, because he is taller than me, and it was literally the best kiss I have had thus far in my life. Being in his arms was the moment I had been waiting for, and it was perfect.
For the next couple of months we kept talking and saw each other when we could since he is still in high school (12th grade) and I am in college. It was hard to see each other as much as we wanted to. I thought that sooner or later I would become his girlfriend because he did tell me, "Kimberly, I like you."
Once he told me that I was hoping in my heart that he would ask me to be his girlfriend ... but it never came. Aaron and I have been talking since January, but since then nothing has changed, and he has become very jerk-like in the past month or so. He has been telling my friends different things than what he is telling me, and he makes me feel like I am being crazy or making up all the things he ever said to me or did. Last week I found out something he said to one of my good friends about me, and I truly could not believe it.
I was so angry, yet so hurt at the same time, because I truly thought that he cared about me and valued my feelings, but obviously not. As of right now, I am not speaking to him because it is too hard to want something so bad, knowing that you won't get it. Aaron made me think we were going to be together ... but nope.
Now I have to move on from Aaron and realize that he is not the guy who is meant for me, but I will always have something in my heart for him because he was there for me when I needed him, and I had the greatest four months being with him and being happy.
Sometimes you have to think of what you deserve instead of what you want.
