The Boy with the Giant Chocolate Bar
By Chelsie, age 14, South Wales, United Kingdom
Recently I had to say goodbye to a friend, one who was there for me when I cried, who helped me when I fell. He was a friend who knew everything about me.
My friend knew him first, and introduced me to him online. We instantly clicked; we were laughing and joking all the time. As we got to know each other, we started to go on webcam, and one day I was really upset, so he asked, "Where do you live?" I told him, and he came something like 43 miles by train and found where I lived and comforted me. I'd only seen stuff like this happen in the movies. I was startled. He bought me flowers and a massive bar of chocolate, and he was so cute. He was two years older than me, cute, kind, and loving, but he lived far away.
While he was in my house, we messed around, laughed, and told each other more about ourselves. Our friendship grew and grew.
When he went home, he finally came online and we talked. He said he could come and see me again in about three weeks, so in the meantime we'd talk on the phone, and we passed the time texting and instant messaging. Even in school I'd be texting him in lessons, and when we had lunch he'd ring me for 45 minutes.
The three weeks passed, and he came. He looked smart, and again had a massive bunch of flowers and a chocolate bar. This time I hugged him, and said, "Aww, that's so sweet." I thanked him, and he asked if there was anywhere we could go. I suggested we go out to the fields. He was fine by it, so we went, and sat down, and we talked for a couple of hours, and then he turned to me and said, "I love you. I really do, and I can't hide it anymore."
I was stunned. I mean, you hear of people finding love online, but you never think it will happen to you, with a 16 year old boy who lives 40 odd miles away. But when he said that I instantly fell under a spell. I had butterflies and I couldn't help but stare deep into his eyes. Everything around us was gone. We kissed.
I still swear, to this day, I felt love. Powerful, overpowering actually, it was a strong but sensitive feeling. Even though I contradict myself by saying "at fourteen there's no such thing as love", secretly I guess there is.
We carried on talking, and seeing each other as friends, and on MSN we'd flirt. He had a girlfriend, but that didn't stop us from playing these games. He'd secretly see me, and we'd flirt and talk. She didn't find out for months. She didn't find out until just recently. I was writing to him on MSN and she was on his MSN. I asked when he was going to see me next, and she wrote back, furious. It kicked off an argument, and that night the boy and I decided to say Goodbye and forget each other.
It's so hard. He told me it would get easier, but it gets harder and harder. I've ended up wishing bad things on myself while I sleep, that I would bleed out or be strangled. Now, we email every couple of days, and we talk on the phone, but it's not like it used to be, and it never will be.