A Letter to You

By April, age 26, New Jersey

i thought about you today, just like every other day. things aren't staying the same, but nothing is changing. i'm not too sure how to go about this, but i'm trying. and that's all any of us can really do, is try.

sometimes, just getting up in the morning is hard. sometimes, just making it through the day without crying is an accomplishment. and now and then, no matter how each day is, it's never the same. never what it could actually be, just going through the motions of what it actually is.

maybe the best i can do, the only thing any of us can really do, is just that. just our best. learning how to survive. holding on to hope. and realizing that as much as we might want to, we can't look back. we can't get stuck in our yesterdays.

and what happens when we do? not sure. still figuring that one out. everyone always says it's best to just move on, keep moving forward. but no one ever taught me how to let go. and i don't think you ever really do.

i think it comes and goes, good days and bad. some days are easier to smile, and others, the only thing you can do is cry, is feel your heart break and wait for tomorrow to have it mend.

i don't know how i got here. or maybe i do. maybe i can re-count every moment, every conversation, every look i noticed and overlooked. maybe i now realize all the small, significant details i should have noticed from the beginning. maybe now, you do too.

and now i'm stuck in this small place of what could have been and what actually is. i keep myself enclosed, trying to not feel anything, and yet i can feel everything all at the same time. i'm worn out. drained.

i was told that when you can't do anything, and when you can't hear anything, to just stand still and wait. but what if i can hear everything. what if i already know half the answers and that's just not good enough. what if i can't be good enough. so i wait. and i'm not sure what i'm waiting for.

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February & March Magazine Issues

March 15, 2012

The February and March issues of Sweet Designs Magazine are now online, featuring a combined 53 new articles and features!!

- Cover: Stephanie Lynn reflects on 5 years
- Cover: India (of Darn-licious knitwear)
- Life in the dumps (moving in with my bf)
- The difference between men and women
- Angels among us (parts 1 and 2)
- Arts graduates & the dark night of the soul
- Triple threat (how I survived my teen yrs)
- Dating isn't easy (my true story)
- How to turn not-so-great gifts ... (fashion)
- Ten reasons to love being single
- Taking the big leap (college)
- Valentine's Day (not what you'd expect!)
- The last of the cold (hopefully) (fashion)
- A month full of love
- Ten tips for successful airline travel
- Reasons I love writing for SDM
- Who needs love?
- They're not all the same
- The life I'm glad I don't have (fiction)
- Professional dress/ finding Fendi (fashion)
- An airport anniversary: a true story
- Inappropriate Facebook photos
- The perks of a big city (college)
- A night(mare) to forget (part 2)
- The Anita Blake series (book review)
- Saving June by Hannah Harrington (book)
- Under the Mesquite by GG McCall (book)
- The Lullaby by Sarah Dessen (book)
- If I Stay by Gayle Foreman (book review)
- My sweetheart (original poetry)
- Isn't it funny (original poetry)
- The stranger (original poetry)
- A winter wonderland (original poetry)
- One night valentine
- The thick envelopes (college acceptance)
- Southern love
- Healthy hair and vitamins
- It's a date (dating idea alternatives)
- The 30 hour famine
- School's out forever!
- Marching right back into spring? (fashion)
- Dear John
- When TV shows depict your life
- 3 Fun ways to rock spring's hottest trends
- Neglected teeth
- Starting something new
- Guy movies
- To hesitate or dive in?
- Deadly, by Julie Chibbaro (book review)
- Beastly, by Alex Flinn (book review)
- I don't care (poetry)
- Together, alone (poetry)

Sweet Designs Magazine
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