Catching the Rebound
By Shanna, age 17, California
As hard as this is to believe, once upon a time I was the rebound girl. For a long time I tried to deny it and tell myself we were just friends, but things got out of control as fast as they started. Anything built on a lie will only be a lie in the end.
For a long time I believed no one ever loved me. Not my family, not my friends, not even my grandma who is my most trusted person on this earth. I bestowed my trust in a guy I had met earlier on in my life; he was also my friend's ex. He was somewhat older and much more mature than I was. He was nice to me and actually showed interest in me and the things I cared about. The only problem that held us back from being together was his girlfriend. As jealous as I was of her, I vowed to never let him know how much I envied their relationship. So I figured being a side was the closest I could get.
We hung out frequently, made many phone calls to each other, and visited each other's families. I figured getting in good with them would maybe draw me closer to my dream which was being his girlfriend. So enthused with the materials he possessed my eyes gleamed as bright as diamonds. Every time he shined those pearly whites at me my heart would just melt.
Envious, I knew I had to step up my game to get that concrete position, so I figured throwing myself at him would help, only to be shoved defensively away from him and told to never try that again. Hurt, I cried, excused myself, and avoided him for weeks. I just didn't understand why he didn't want to be with me as badly as I wanted to be with him.
I didn't mind her. She was simply a figment in his imagination I so desperately wanted to get rid of, but the more I tried, the more he grew away from me and closer to her ...
... Until one day when I got the news I wanted - they had broken up. I never smiled so hard in my life. Immediately he let down his barrier and let me in, only to put up another one saying that I wasn't his only side. Confused, once again I excused myself and avoided him, seeking advice from whomever would listen. It seemed like being a mistress would never be the answer ...
... Leading me to play basketball to clear some thoughts. Mind you, I'm not much of a hooper, but when somebody places themselves in the category of a helpless ball falling into a set of hands, giving them the power to help or destroy you, what results can only hurt.