Drugs: My First && My Last!
By Soraya, age 18, Texas
"There's a first time for everything" he said to me. It was around the time that my aunt was adding another year to her departure. Like usual, I get sad and seem to push everyone away from me, and I just want to be left alone. My boyfriend, who in my eyes was perfect, convinced me to try "weed." Since I was already depressed and trusted him, I figured, why not?
I had everything planned out. I told my mother I would be going to the movies with a couple of friends. It was Saturday afternoon around 2 or 3 pm. My brother picked me up and dropped me off at the mall. I assured him I would be meeting up with my friends there. My brother didn't want to leave me alone, so I proceeded to head inside so he wouldn't try to wait for my "friends" with me. My mom was going to be attending a party near the mall, and I told her she could pick me up after the party was over. If only I knew what I was getting myself into.
My boyfriend was already waiting for me. We took a walk and he pulled out some cookies which he had put weed in. I was going through painful reminders of losing my aunt - that's not an excuse, I know. I grabbed the cookie and ate some of it. I didn't finish it. I drank some Coke and we went in to watch a movie. I thought I would be fine because I was with him and it wasn't his first time. I put my trust in him since he was my boyfriend, so I thought I was going to be okay since he was there to take care of me.
Well, I was completely wrong. He went to buy popcorn and food because he was already getting hungry. I stayed behind. He came back and said some people were after him. He was panicking, so they kicked him out of the theater. I left. I was so scared and wishing I hadn't done what I did. I grabbed my cell phone and called my mom. She was on her way to the party, so she wasn't far.
As I began to walk to the place where she dropped me off I began to feel dizzy - everything was moving sooo slow. I was afraid of being alone, and everything didn't seem right. My mom got there and I got inside the car. She looked at me, and by that time I was already soo high. My eyes were red and she thought I had been crying. I told her I was ok, and that I wanted to go home. She told me she had to go to the party. It was going to be for a while, then we would be going home.
At the party I didn't know what to do, I sat down to eat and it took me a long time to grab my plate. All of a sudden I was outside - I don't remember when I got up and left. I went inside to call my mom. She asked me what was wrong and I told her what I had done. She stayed quiet. I was expecting a slap or something. But I didn't get any screams from her or anything bad. She told me to go back inside and relax, to go to sleep. I tried to do what she told me.
In my mind I remember being so afraid of forgetting to breathe. I don't know why, but I could hear things. Everything was moving slowly - it wasn't a good experience. I was afraid, so afraid.
When we got home my mom took my shoes off, covered me, and kissed me goodnight. She told me she loved me. I felt like crap, like the worst human being on earth. This woman didn't slap me, scream at me, or anything. She tried to comprehend and gave me love. I fell asleep, and the next day I woke up still high. I was soo hungry and my mom gave me a lot of food. She asked me what I wanted to eat.
Later on I sat down and thought about everything. I was alone on the street high. What if my mom had taken longer? I couldn't control myself because I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know anything because it was my first time. I was soo lucky that my mom was nearby. The streets aren't safe, especially if you aren't in control of your five senses!! I called that guy up and cursed him out, and never spoke to him again. I saw in my mom's eyes that I had lost her trust, and that hurt more than a slap from her.
This experience has changed me a lot. I don't trust guys and I stay away from drugs. It's something I never want to go through again. I lost my mom's trust over something so stupid and worthless. I could have lost my life over something that took me and got me nowhere.
Girls, please be smart. Drugs are the worst thing on earth. I don't want to sound all lame to say "drugs are for losers" or those logos you read. Take it from someone who was there, who lived it. I'm the one girl who can honestly tell you that life is way more worthwhile than drugs. Do you know how dangerous it is? I think about it every single day of my life, and I'm so grateful that my mom got there on time. I had no control. Just knowing how many girls get kidnaped, raped, and killed every day, and to be alone on the street high? Makes no sense. I'm so blessed and so happy that I'm okay.
If you are with a guy who offers you weed or anything, think about what you are getting yourself into. Do you really think that guy cares about you? Hah! Love is blind, but girls...wake up!! Be smart and analyze everything! Open your eyes and love yourself enough to make little things count!!!
Now I have gained my mom's trust again, and well, to be honest with you, I regret my decision every single day of my life. In a way, I'm thankful that my first time happened like that, because I'm okay, but seriously, you shouldn't have to go through the same situation I was in. I guess "there's always a first time for everything" shouldn't really count - you can stop it!