By Catherine, age 24, England, United Kingdom
Editor's Note: Limericks are short, often comical (and sometimes off-color, but not these) 5 liners with a rhyming pattern that goes AABBA. Each is unrelated to the next.
There was a small gerbil called Max
Who couldn't ever relax
He drank lots of beer
And took lots of gear
But still worried on about tax.
Once lived a woman called Freja
Who frequently dabbled with Ouija
Though scaring her senseless
And left quite defenceless
Another past-time did not wager.
A serpent was named Aristotle
Known to be fond of the bottle
He drank lots all day
Before home he would sway
With no limbs to press down on the throttle
A second moon hid made of cheese
But dairy-free people displease
So crescent of cheddar
Goes redder and redder
Kept for 'nother time in deep freeze
A wizard from South Korea
Had issues with arising fear
At dusk every day
And causing dismay
A tarantula always came near.
Some guy from Abinger Hammer
Spoke with a dominant stammer
He just sounded nervous
Causing listeners disservice
At least trim with his usage of grammar.
A peacock from Ashby-de-la-Zouch
Had less personality than a couch
He flailed wild his feathers
At all get-togethers
Which concealed the fact he's a grouch.
A stone age man from Beercrocombe
Waylaid with ideas for designing his tomb
Had preoccupation with a sarcophagus
But a burning sensation in his esophagus
Meant his own demises ideas had no longer room.
Life in Chapel en le frith
Was seeped in fantasy and doused with myth
Dragons flew and caped beings drifted
Any laws and such were lifted
Beyond the cliff.