College Roommate Horror Stories
By Briana, age 19, Pennsylvania
Sweet Designs Staff Intern
Sweet Designs Featured Writer
My roommate in high school was fluent in 5 different languages, and every night would talk in his sleep. Every night was a new language, and sometimes they would mesh together. Spanish and Japanese are a hilarious combination at 3 am.
Juan S. was my insane roommate. When I was sleeping, he'd do all kinds of crazy things like paint my toenails or put a bat under my mattress so I'd wake up with a horrible backache. Even worse, I never got used to the smell of his Southern Comfort farts. They were the worst!
My roommate Josie and I never really got along from the start. She was kind of bossy and we just didn't click. So when my 21st birthday rolled around, I decided to have a party at my apartment, purposely not inviting her.
About half an hour after my party started, Josie appeared and started freaking out. She started yelling at my friends to not eat her yogurt every time they went to get a drink from the fridge! It started to get on my nerves, so I called her out on it. In response, she just ran to her room crying. Then her friend who was just there to hang out with her screamed at me saying that I'd embarrassed them both!
About twenty minutes later, Josie stormed out of her room and took her iHome with her, saying that since she wasn't invited, she was taking it back. As it got later and the party was nearing its end, I heard her come out of her room and start screaming at my friends to get out. Later she even made up some wacky story that I'd thrown a globe at her, or something weird like that. I had to deal with her screaming for another full semester, and I haven't talked to her since.
Bethy was one of those completely humble egocentrics who thought that, in modesty, she was so very gorgeous that everyone was always looking at her. The first time I met her in my dorm room, she said, "The R.A. is a creeper - he's looking down my shirt." At the time I had no reason not to believe her, but as we were settling in for our first night, each of us in our respective lofted beds, she casually said, "Can I tell you something?"
I earnestly responded, "Sure, anything." It was roommate bonding time, of course.
"I was raped," she blurted out. I frantically asked her if she wanted me to call the police, grab a counselor, or call her parents. "No," she calmly muttered, as if she was merely informing me of her favorite ice cream flavor. "Just thought you should know. It was ages ago."
I should have known then she was mentally unstable. I woke up one morning to find her eyes staring at mine, her face less than an inch from mine. "You breathe so lightly," she squealed with joy, as if she had discovered a hidden talent in me, and then she quietly moved back to her bed, said goodnight, and fell asleep.
She had sex with her boyfriend in my bed, leaving a contraceptive, and she also decided to follow me to the cafeteria one morning, bang on the glass window, and yell through the glass, "Why didn't you invite me to eat with you?" Bethy was certifiably insane.
I mentioned one of these was my own story. Well, here it is: :) My first year of college, my three roommates and I seemed to get along pretty well! We would hang out in our common room and do other things together. Everything seemed to be hunky-dory until my roommates, Shae and Kayla, started to fight with our other roommate, Nicole. Being a "drama-hater", I tried as hard as possible to stay out of everything, but I was living with them after all, so it was pretty much impossible.
After a few weeks, we started to notice that Nicole would come into the room late at night with her drunken friends. One night we heard lots of noises that we had no desire to hear, and when we woke up the next morning our common room was a mess and all of our toilet paper was gone.
Not only did this turn into a huge brawl that included our R.A., but it also led to something minute, yet completely ridiculous. Shae and I call it "the BYOTP incident." After that evening, we realized that Nicole and her friends had used all of our toilet paper, and we decided it was the last straw. Shae, Kayla, and I decided that we were going to put a Post-It note on the empty toilet paper holder that read, "BYOTP," standing for "bring your own toilet paper." Yes.
For the next few months we each brought our own roll of toilet paper to the bathroom every time. I have to say, it definitely counts as one of the most ridiculous things I've ever had to do. Regardless, it now serves as a hilarious story I will be telling my kids when they go to college!!