Guys Can Be So Confusing!
By Clarissa, age 21, Texas
Editor's Note: This month we add a third member to the Sweet Advice team. Welcome to Clarissa, who addresses two teens with boy issues.
We just started freshman year like two weeks ago, and on the first day of school I noticed this really cute guy who was staring at me while talking to his friends. I looked up and gave him a smile. So the next day I found out that we have PE together, and when I walked in and sat in front of him his friends were talking low, but then when his friends said his name they said it loud (like they wanted for me to hear it).
The next day I walked into PE. His friends were staring at me grinning and I didn't know why, then they tried to push him towards me. His friends kept walking around me saying that he never had a girlfriend. So now every time I walk through the hall I notice him staring at me, and when he notices that I see him, he puts his head down really fast.
We were leaving the library yesterday, and I was like 6 feet behind him, and he held the door open for me. Today when I saw him he looked like I was just "there". When I went to my locker (my locker is by the door) he came through the doors with a bunch of friends, and I was getting up from putting my stuff away and noticed him, and we, like, had a moment. So we went back to the library again, and my friends and I were sitting in some chairs, and he and his friends were on the other side of the library. Then they came over to our side and sat behind us. So I really I thought he liked me at first, but now I can't even tell. So what should I do?
Guys can be so confusing at times, but I am sure that they say the same thing about us girls. Unfortunately we can't read each other's mind, but there are other ways to figure out what's going on. Pay attention to body language. You are sending him signals, and I guarantee if you pay attention he is sending you some back. Do you notice that you might touch your hair or tilt your head when you are talking to someone you like? It's as if your body is screaming "like me, talk to me, oh yeah, and here's my number". The fact that he dropped his head when you saw him is a good indicator of nervousness, and it sounds as if this guy could be a little shy.
If you want to make something of this be a little assertive. Try to catch him when he's alone and just start a casual conversation and introduce yourself. This way when you see him ya'll can start saying hi and getting to know each other. Trust me, he and his friends seem to be sending you several hints, but the only way you can find out for sure is to talk to him. Not to mention, it's only the first couple weeks of school, so get to know him and whomever else you want.
Just be confident and be yourself. These are the biggest turn-ons.
A guy liked me 4 years ago but I turned him down. Through the years he has changed his preference to guys and we've become best friends. He still thinks I'm hot and I really like him. We apparently made out at a party (I was drunk) and have kissed a couple of times. I'm confused and it kills me a little bit every time I see him. What am I supposed to do??
I would advise you to be there for him as just a friend at this point. Right now, if he has decided to explore relationships with other guys, as a friend you should respect and support his decision. There could be a possibility that he feels the same way that you do about him, but at the present time, if he hasn't approached you about those feelings, then I think it would be best to leave it alone because you don't want to make the relationship between the two of you awkward or strained.
This happens a lot between guys and girls who are friends. When you're spending a lot of time around someone and opening up to them it's natural that feelings can enter the situation. Instead of pushing for something or trying to make a relationship happen it's always best to let it develop on its own, and if it is meant to be, it will, if you give it time. If you truly value the friendship, then be content with that for now because once you open the door to the feelings and physical aspects that come along with a relationship the friendship won't be the same again. So after more time, if you still feel the same way and you really want to be with this guy, then pursue him, but don't get so caught up in the relationship that you lose the friendship which is what attracted you to him in the first place.