First Loves and Second Loves
By Gia, age 18, Florida
Sweet Designs Staff Intern
Sweet Designs Featured Writer
But in three years I went from being a baby to a young adult. My first love was my security blanket. He protected me, and anything I wanted he gave me. Now when you are young this is fantastic. But since that relationship I learned that I was only hurting myself by becoming so dependent. I depended on him to tell me how to feel and what to do. You could say (and I don't joke about something as serious as this) that I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Neither of us were wrong or bad because I needed him to do this. He was my protector who promised (amongst other things) that no one would hurt me.
My first love taught me so much since we met in 2007. During our relationship we always talked about his dreams and never about mine. I was going to be set, so why try? In any relationship, no one's dreams should trump the other's. Both people are important - whether their dream is to open a Subway shop or to write the next great American novel.
Now fast forward a few years later to November 24th, 2009. It's been a few years since I experienced what people would call my first great love. If you've read anything I've written in the past year, a boy is the reason I believe in love again. I'm happy to say that this year is a big milestone for us - we're celebrating a year as a couple. Now seeing as I'm the writer in this relationship - he's more of the video game obsessed (or, as he calls it, dedicated), drummer, smart ass type - I know exactly what to say at some of the appropriate times.
Spending a year with someone is trying, to say the least. It's not like a month into the relationship when you are just starting to know the person. A year means seeing them at their worst, at their best, and everything in between. It means not giving up and walking away. Yes, there are fights. You can ask my boyfriend - our fights are epic. However, at the end of the day, I can't go to sleep without saying I'm sorry. It's not good for you. I've learned from this relationship that it's give and take. I wasn't used to that. His feelings get hurt when I say things, and I've learned to shut my mouth.
Probably the biggest thing I've learned since spending this past year with my boyfriend, and the last two without my first love, is that I can be anyone I want to be, and someone in this vast world will love me. Whether I dye my hair a different color every month, enjoy watching shows about criminals, or maybe just spending the night talking, there is a person who would do those things with me.
My boyfriend isn't like my first love. He is my best friend and wants me to do whatever I choose, whether it's open a Jamba Juice or become a cop. I'm grateful that after a year of putting up with my crap he's still around, wearing a panda hat, talking to me in gibberish and weird accents, and having somewhat awkward Saturday night dinners ... and we're still in love.
A first love is someone you don't forget, but just because they were your first love it doesn't mean you'll always be in love with them. I'm a romantic - anyone can see that. I want fairy tale endings, even though I live in the real world. My first love and my current boyfriend may not be the same person, or even share the same qualities, but there is a reason why my first love relationship ended after six months, and after a year my boyfriend and I are still together.