REAL LIFE: ADVICE

Too Busy to Date Me??

By Clarissa, age 21, Texas

I reeeeally like this guy Charlie. We went out for 2 months. He was my first kiss, well, practically my first boyfriend. I had one other but we were more like friends. But the thing is, I cried SO MUCH when he broke up with me (through texts). He is 2 years older than me and everybody was saying stuff about that. I really don't think 2 years is that big of a difference, and I know that's NOT why he broke up with me. He said he was extremely busy. I believe that he was. I have a friend Danny who is mutual friends with Charlie and he said he is always busy and never has time to even talk to him.

A week after we broke up I thought I was over him. Me and my friend Samantha went to a homecoming game and Charlie was there with Samantha's ex Noah. They were great friends, like me and Samantha, and we always went on double dates and stuff. Anyway, I realized I am NOT over him.

Me, Charlie, Noah, and Samantha were talking to one of Noah's friends. He was asking about me and Charlie's relationship and was making a big deal about him going out with 7th grader. I felt like crap because I could tell he was embarrassed. Then a little while after Noah's friend told him he should ask me back out, Charlie straight out said "no," and everyone was like "ouch, that's cold," and laughing. I felt like running and crying.

About two weeks ago Charlie was talking to Samantha, and asked if I'd ever date him again, but I wasn't supposed to know. I was bouncing off walls and really happy! We hung out like two times since then. A couple days ago he told Samantha he was not going to ask me back out. Now it's like I just CAN'T move on. I don't know what to do. I really want to talk to him about this. But the thing is, I already have and it always turned into this small little conversation, and it's not helping, and I don't want it to turn into me bugging him. I know he's not busy anymore. I mean, he was maybe going to ask me out. So I don't know what to do. I try to talk to Samantha, but all she says is, "tell him, tell him," and she always gives me something stupid to say. Ughh! Help, please! :(

Sarah, 12


Hey Sarah,

You are going through a tough time right now. I'm sure most of us girls can sympathize; I know I can. It is really hard wanting someone and not getting the same feelings in return. You start to wonder is it something wrong with you, or maybe if you change your hair or dress differently he'll come around. I have been there and done that.

Here is a little piece of advice that will save you a lot of time and effort. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be no matter how much hard we wish and hope for them. At this present time Charlie seems like he cares more about what his friends think and he is not making you a priority. You shouldn't have to beg and plead for someone to be with you, and you can't keep someone that does not want to be kept. You can only control your actions, not his. Let him go, and if it is meant for the two of you to be together then maybe this time of separation is just for a season. Take this time to be single, enjoy yourself, and your friends and family. Don't become the girl who has to have a guy to complete her, or her whole life revolves around her relationships. At twelve you have your whole life ahead of you for dating and relationships. Don't grow up too fast; just have fun being young while you can.

Clarissa

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