As Liz Anything!
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
By Elizabeth, age 20, Pennsylvania
I really like this boy. His name is Jake. We have been talking since the summer of 2010. In about August or September we finally told each other we liked each other. In October we got in an argument and stopped talking for a couple weeks and then we started talking again. Then in November something happened and we didn't talk for a few weeks and now we are talking again. We started talking again about 2 weeks ago. Monday, January 3rd he came over. We hung out. We kissed. It wasn't our first time.
Yesterday, January 8th, I called him and we were talking and then he hung up on me. I tried calling him back and he didn't answer. Now tonight, January 9th, We were on the phone talking and I asked him if he wanted to hang out tomorrow (Monday, January 10th). He said, "I don't know, I might go sledding." And then we were talking a little bit and he hung up on me again. I tried calling him back and he didn't answer. He usually isn't like this. I REALLY like him. I have a couple questions on this situation. Do you think he really likes me or is he just saying he does? Do you think he is just a waste of my time? What should I do?
Tori Lynn, 14
It sounds like one minute he likes you and then the next he doesn't even know you. You can't (how should I say?) come off too strong towards him. Maybe he needs some space or he doesn't even know what he wants - a "relationship" or "friendship" - and that's something you have to talk to him about. Ask him:
1. What's going on?
2. What do you see this as? (friends or something more?)
Lastly, if it sounds like he's blowing you off, let him go. My opinion is not to jump to any conclusions until you find out what you need to find out, then decide what you want to do. I hope this helps.
* * * * *
We just started freshman year like two weeks ago, and on the first day of school I noticed this really cute guy who was staring at me while talking to his friends. I looked up and gave him a smile. So the next day I found out that we have PE together, and when I walked in and sat in front of him his friends were talking low, but then when his friends said his name they said it loud (like they wanted for me to hear it).
The next day I walked into PE. His friends were staring at me grinning and I didn't know why, then they tried to push him towards me. His friends kept walking around me saying that he never had a girlfriend. So now every time I walk through the hall I notice him staring at me, and when he notices that I see him, he puts his head down really fast.
We were leaving the library yesterday, and I was like 6 feet behind him, and he held the door open for me. Today when I saw him he looked like I was just "there". When I went to my locker (my locker is by the door) he came through the doors with a bunch of friends, and I was getting up from putting my stuff away and noticed him, and we, like, had a moment. So we went back to the library again, and my friends and I were sitting in some chairs, and he and his friends were on the other side of the library. Then they came over to our side and sat behind us. So I really I thought he liked me at first, but now I can't even tell. So what should I do?
From my end, it looks like he likes you. There are moments he might feel confident, but then at others he might lose that confidence. I'm sure he told his friends he has a crush on you and they may be trying to get you two together. Remember this: never let your guard down. Knowing guys today, many of them will do anything to be with a girl and don't really care how they feel afterwards, but not all of them are this way.
Your approach was very good; you didn't get cold feet or run like must girls would have when they saw the guy they liked. My advice is to talk to him. It can be about anything. Start with a simple "hey", but the last thing you want is to sound desperate. When he held the door for you, you could have introduced yourself, then when walking say to what class you were headed, etc.
He is probably questioning himself the same way you are, thinking I can't tell if she likes me. Life is all about taking chances (positive ones). If it isn't meant to be then don't stress yourself over it. You are one less guy away from finding your soulmate. Hope this helps. Take care.