What Has Happened to Love?
By Arushi, age 20, India
Gone are the days when love used to make the world go 'round, when people got starry-eyed about their respective partners. I would like to welcome you all to the 21st century. A place where you often hear phrases like "Will it work?" and "I'm in a relationship," instead of "I am in love."
Love today seems to be more about cunning and strategies that the pure craziness love led to. Today, before falling in love, people think about how they shouldn't just rush to say "I Love You". There are 'bases'- 1st base being a hug, and base 4 being sex - and how one must gradually go through these phases, allowing 10 days or so between each. There are "exit plans" to be considered and levels to achieve before saying "I Do". If it "does not work," there is an option - break up.
Move aside, heart. Step in, head.
When did such complications enter the magical and mystifying world of love?
And these are the very same situations which leave people at a loss when defining their relationship status, and cause them to write, "It's complicated" on their social networking page. "I Love You, but being with you is too hard." "I Love You, but I can't marry you." "I Love You, but we fight too much." "I Love You, but let's be friends." And in the worst case scenario, "I don't love you, but I'm gonna marry you anyway" (because you have a thriving business, or you satisfy my blossoming libido).
Am I a fool to still want those never-ending walks into the sunset or the cosy rain-soaked cuddle? Even sing those romantic songs and dance around a few trees? If I don't have "an exit plan" because I plan to hang in there till as much time as it takes, and I just plunge into the deep end and am swimming my way through - is my future doomed? Or am I just being an incurable romantic?
C'mon, people ... Save the brains ... It's "Love" we are talking about. We are allowed to make mistakes. We are allowed to pull each other's hair out, but still want to be with each other. It's allowed if you love someone and want to do all the 'bases' on the same day. Everything is allowed. Just do it. Take time off to sit together and look into each other's eyes, hold hands, hug and kiss (even if tomorrow you are going to pull each other's hair out - you still love her, right?)
And when you are miles away, just call, and assure the other of his or her importance. Works wonders. And don't take love for granted. Because you might break up with him today because of minor misunderstandings (or even major ones), but in the end you could have worked it all out. Don't think of love as an option, which you can deny or accept whenever you want - love, or don't.
What I have realised with time - let it be about the heart and not the head, and love is bliss.