How to Spot a Player
By Shanice, age 15, South Africa
In my short existence, I have been unfortunate enough to come across four players. Player 1 broke my heart when I was twelve. Yes, twelve. As angry and upset as I was with him, I am thankful that I can easily spot a player, thanks to him. Here are the most common moves made by guys who aren't looking for anything but a bit of fun.
1) Physical Contact
He brushes past you or finds any excuse to touch you. There's a line between using physical contact as a flirting move and using it to lure someone in just for the thrill of it. A player will definitely go way past this line. Player 1 brushed past me more than necessary. Considering that we were at school, I'm pretty sure there was enough space for him to move around without brushing past me.
2) Cliched Much
He uses cliched phrases like "your eyes are beautiful" or "it's your smile that pulls me to you". Player 3 tried this on me. Unfortunately, I burst out laughing. This didn't offend him. He simply moved on to his next target. A guy who is genuinely interested would not use cliched phrases and you'd be able to see that he is being sincere when he says something.
3) All for One and One for All
Watch how a player is around other girls. If he can find a girl who is wild enough, he'll move on to her since she's easier and she entertains him. He also uses the same moves on every girl he hits on. If you want to check, subtly ask the girl about what they were talking about or let her tell you herself. For instance, "I saw you talking to that guy. He's such a goofball." Chances are she'll agree with you before spilling the beans.
4) Honesty Is the Best Policy
Sometimes a player will confess to lying and cheating. He'll say that the reason he is telling you this is because there's something about you that just makes him want to change. Yeah, right. A cliched phrase once again.
5) I Think I'm Falling for You
A player falls hard and he falls easily. There are three words that leave their lips as fast as lightning. Player 1 told me in our first conversation that he loved me. Let me recap, we were twelve!! Player 2 told me this in our third conversation. Players 3 and 4 tell me this all the time. My response to them is to smile brightly and say, "Aw, I love you too." This brings about their insisting that they really do. Of course they do. They were just flirting with that other girl for fun. I'm really 'The One' for them. I am not a big fan of threesomes, but thanks.
6) Moving Back and Forth
Player 2 tried to hit on a pal of mine. She pretended that she wasn't interested because she saw him hitting on someone else. Suddenly, out of the blue, Player 2 fell "in love with me". This wasn't a surprise to me since whenever he flirted with her, he would look at me and smile. This is another "player move" - hitting on one gal, and smiling at another. Needless to say, my friend was hurt. Player 3 tried the same trick - he moved from me to my friend and back again to me.
7) Talks Continuously about His Relationships
This was something that all four of the guys had in common. They all spoke (uncaringly, let me add) about their past and present relationships. I know every girl that Player 1 dated. Player 2 liked older girls (umm, eeww). Player 3 lied to many girls but he honestly loved me. And Player 4 always spoke about the things he bought or did for his girlfriend. If you know more about this guy's love life than necessary, he's definitely either a player or a blabbermouth.
8) What Are You Looking For?
Classic Player Move. He will always want to know what you look for in a guy. He may ask you casually but he's actually planning his next disguise.
9) Hot and Cold
A player will be "in love with you," and then the next minute he's suggesting that you guys have an open relationship. He's actually trying to retain as much of his freedom as possible, while still having you as a back-up.
If a guy shows four or more of these signs, chances are he's a player. Dump him and get as far away as possible from him.