Boys, Boys, Boys!
By Pamela, age 26, South Africa
Sweet Designs Featured Writer
Miranda, 15
Boys, boys, boys, what will we ever do with them? First of all, let me say that I've been there! Dating is tough, especially in your teens. This guy is popular and he definitely knows it. He obviously likes attention from girls and likes to play games. Guys often have "lines" they say to let girls down easy, to avoid confrontation, and to not look like bad guys. By him saying that he wasn't good enough for you and that it didn't seem like you liked him, even though you stressed to him that you did like him, he was probably trying to end what you had together but wanted to shift the blame onto you and off of him. This is evident by him saying that he wasn't sure who he liked. I know it hurts, but if he really liked you and wanted to be with you then he wouldn't have said that.
I know he has sent you mixed messages. I'm going to give you a piece of advice that I had to learn the hard way: look at what a guy does, not what he says. Unless he is making sure that you know he likes you, then "he's just not that into you." Don't worry too much about him or any other guy who doesn't appreciate you. Wouldn't you rather have a guy who is positive that he liked you and wanted to be with you? Us girls have so much free time when we don't have to analyze a guy's feelings because we just know they're into us. Trust me, it's so much better to have a guy who likes you and only you. Besides, by you moving on and showing you're cool with things being over, it will probably make him become interested in you again because he will want what he can't have. It's crazy but true! Good luck.
Pamela
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Ok, in 7th grade I dated this new boy. I really liked him, but so did my friends. I broke up with him because all my friends liked him and were mad at me. Also, people were betting we would break up. He was my first bf. We were gonna kiss that day but I told my friends I might break up with him, but they walked into class doing broken heart signs and he thought they meant it. I never had the courage to tell him. Now I'm in 8th grade. We still don't talk and I'm still madly in love with him. The problem is he has a gf and really loves her and is already talking about marriage!!! I'm too scared to talk to him. What should I do?
Megan, 13
Megan, you are a nice person who puts her friends before herself. Your friends were jealous of you so they sabotaged your happiness. I can't judge them though, because they are very young and I know how hormonal teen girls can be (I was one after all!). I would usually advise girls to put friends before guys, but in this situation I think your friends were wrong and placed unfair pressure on you. I'm sure if he had liked one of them they would have gone for it.
It's a new year and I assume your friends wouldn't give you such a hard time so I say follow your heart. He has a girlfriend now and you shouldn't try break them up, but if you don't tell him how you feel or at least explain why you ended things, then you might always regret it. My advice would be to write him a short letter or email. Don't pour your heart out as some time has passed, but let him know what happened and that your feelings are still there. He's very young so I really doubt he'll end up married to his current girlfriend. At least if things end between them in the future, he will know how you feel and maybe you'll have another chance. Good luck!
Pamela
