Boys, Boys, Boys!

By Pamela, age 26, South Africa
Sweet Designs Featured Writer

Featured Gold Star Writer Bio

There's this guy I had a thing with for about a month after I broke up with my boyfriend. He kept saying how into me he was (he's really popular and I'm only semi) and he always sent me the sweetest texts telling me how much he wanted this to work out. I didn't want to trust him but he promised I could. But he kept saying he wasn't good enough for me, and that it didn't seem like I liked him, even though I kept telling him I did. And then a couple days ago we kinda had a downfall, but he kept saying he didn't want to lose me. Then the next day he kept bringing stuff like that up and we decided to sleep on it because we were both confused on what to do about us. And then the next day he just was cold, and he said he was sorry. He clearly decided that our thing was done. Apparently he didn't think it would work out, but he's "not sure who he likes." and he told someone he still likes me, but if he did then he wouldn't have done that. I don't talk to him anymore because the last time I talked to him wasn't pleasant, but I still really like him, I can't stop thinking about him, and I want him back. what do I do?

Miranda, 15

Boys, boys, boys, what will we ever do with them? First of all, let me say that I've been there! Dating is tough, especially in your teens. This guy is popular and he definitely knows it. He obviously likes attention from girls and likes to play games. Guys often have "lines" they say to let girls down easy, to avoid confrontation, and to not look like bad guys. By him saying that he wasn't good enough for you and that it didn't seem like you liked him, even though you stressed to him that you did like him, he was probably trying to end what you had together but wanted to shift the blame onto you and off of him. This is evident by him saying that he wasn't sure who he liked. I know it hurts, but if he really liked you and wanted to be with you then he wouldn't have said that.

I know he has sent you mixed messages. I'm going to give you a piece of advice that I had to learn the hard way: look at what a guy does, not what he says. Unless he is making sure that you know he likes you, then "he's just not that into you." Don't worry too much about him or any other guy who doesn't appreciate you. Wouldn't you rather have a guy who is positive that he liked you and wanted to be with you? Us girls have so much free time when we don't have to analyze a guy's feelings because we just know they're into us. Trust me, it's so much better to have a guy who likes you and only you. Besides, by you moving on and showing you're cool with things being over, it will probably make him become interested in you again because he will want what he can't have. It's crazy but true! Good luck.


* * * * *

Ok, in 7th grade I dated this new boy. I really liked him, but so did my friends. I broke up with him because all my friends liked him and were mad at me. Also, people were betting we would break up. He was my first bf. We were gonna kiss that day but I told my friends I might break up with him, but they walked into class doing broken heart signs and he thought they meant it. I never had the courage to tell him. Now I'm in 8th grade. We still don't talk and I'm still madly in love with him. The problem is he has a gf and really loves her and is already talking about marriage!!! I'm too scared to talk to him. What should I do?

Megan, 13

Megan, you are a nice person who puts her friends before herself. Your friends were jealous of you so they sabotaged your happiness. I can't judge them though, because they are very young and I know how hormonal teen girls can be (I was one after all!). I would usually advise girls to put friends before guys, but in this situation I think your friends were wrong and placed unfair pressure on you. I'm sure if he had liked one of them they would have gone for it.

It's a new year and I assume your friends wouldn't give you such a hard time so I say follow your heart. He has a girlfriend now and you shouldn't try break them up, but if you don't tell him how you feel or at least explain why you ended things, then you might always regret it. My advice would be to write him a short letter or email. Don't pour your heart out as some time has passed, but let him know what happened and that your feelings are still there. He's very young so I really doubt he'll end up married to his current girlfriend. At least if things end between them in the future, he will know how you feel and maybe you'll have another chance. Good luck!


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February & March Magazine Issues

March 15, 2012

The February and March issues of Sweet Designs Magazine are now online, featuring a combined 53 new articles and features!!

- Cover: Stephanie Lynn reflects on 5 years
- Cover: India (of Darn-licious knitwear)
- Life in the dumps (moving in with my bf)
- The difference between men and women
- Angels among us (parts 1 and 2)
- Arts graduates & the dark night of the soul
- Triple threat (how I survived my teen yrs)
- Dating isn't easy (my true story)
- How to turn not-so-great gifts ... (fashion)
- Ten reasons to love being single
- Taking the big leap (college)
- Valentine's Day (not what you'd expect!)
- The last of the cold (hopefully) (fashion)
- A month full of love
- Ten tips for successful airline travel
- Reasons I love writing for SDM
- Who needs love?
- They're not all the same
- The life I'm glad I don't have (fiction)
- Professional dress/ finding Fendi (fashion)
- An airport anniversary: a true story
- Inappropriate Facebook photos
- The perks of a big city (college)
- A night(mare) to forget (part 2)
- The Anita Blake series (book review)
- Saving June by Hannah Harrington (book)
- Under the Mesquite by GG McCall (book)
- The Lullaby by Sarah Dessen (book)
- If I Stay by Gayle Foreman (book review)
- My sweetheart (original poetry)
- Isn't it funny (original poetry)
- The stranger (original poetry)
- A winter wonderland (original poetry)
- One night valentine
- The thick envelopes (college acceptance)
- Southern love
- Healthy hair and vitamins
- It's a date (dating idea alternatives)
- The 30 hour famine
- School's out forever!
- Marching right back into spring? (fashion)
- Dear John
- When TV shows depict your life
- 3 Fun ways to rock spring's hottest trends
- Neglected teeth
- Starting something new
- Guy movies
- To hesitate or dive in?
- Deadly, by Julie Chibbaro (book review)
- Beastly, by Alex Flinn (book review)
- I don't care (poetry)
- Together, alone (poetry)

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