OK to Date My BFF's Ex?
By Mona, age 19, Philippines
Sweet Designs Featured Writer
Danielle, 15
Dear Danielle,
You might have already heard the line "ho's over bro's" right? It means no matter what happens, your friends (or, in your case, your best friend) should always come first before any guy. But, as we come to realize, at the end of the day, no matter how strong our friendship is with our best friend, the longing for a boyfriend or that someone special in your life will never go away. Especially, at your age right now.
I want you think about it clearly. You say you still have feelings for Jimmy but you're starting to feel something for Cody. I don't know Jimmy, but based on the fact that he broke up with you, it means he doesn't want to be with you. In comes Cody, who gets the role of the "comforter." Cody made you feel a lot better, he was there for you and he has feelings for you, and you kind of have feelings for him too, but you're afraid to jump into a relationship with him because you might hurt your best friend. Well, Danielle, I think you should clearly think about how you really feel about Cody, and make a final decision. Don't include Jimmy in the picture anymore because that relationship is over. It's time to let go of him and time to open up your heart once again to a guy who made you lean on his shoulder during your time of sadness.
Talk to your best friend; make her understand the situation and how it all came to be. Like you said, things ended badly with her and Cody. I am a believer in fate. I believe that when two people are brought together in the most unlikely situations, something is bound to happen between them. If she's really your friend, she should be happy for you. Maybe that's why things ended badly with her and Cody, because maybe it was you all along who is meant to be with him.
Know this, you're still young; your mind will change and your whole life will change. Guys like Cody are hard to find, so live in the moment, take a leap of faith. If you like Cody and he likes you, try it out and see where it goes from there.
Mona
* * * * *
When school started my two friends split up, so I hang out with one of them in the morning, and I met some of her friends. Especially this one guy that I started to develop a crush on, but I don't know whether or not he likes me. Sometimes he does things that make me believe that he likes me but I don't want to assume anything. (I assumed a guy liked me in middle school but I was wrong.) I looked up those links on Google, like "how to tell if a guy likes me", and all the things they said a guy does when he likes you is mostly what he does. I don't know if I should tell him I like him and see what happens or just wait a little bit longer to see more signs. I am really confused. Can you tell me what you think?
Stephanie, 15
I think a lot of girls would agree with me when I say that we've all been there. I think every girl has gone through that stage when there's this guy she likes and the guy is giving mixed signals. "Do you like me? Are we together or what?" At first you're like "Omg! I'm so happy about this," but sooner or later you realize that nothing is really happening. He's not making a move, therefore you're left there like a sitting duck.
I've just seen He's Just Not That Into You, and it's one of my favorite movies because it makes you realize a lot of things as a girl in the same situation as all of us. The movie taught me that when a guy likes you or wants to date you, he'll make it happen. If he's sending you mixed signals, what you should do is maybe try to confront him. If all goes well, then awesome. If not, then you move on. You're still young!
And, of course, we are living in a new world where sometimes women make the first move. So, what you do is try to ask him out. Some guys are really just shy. Shy guys need a little push. Don't wait for signs - nothing is going to happen if you wait for them - it might be a little too late in the end.
Mona
