Want to Hear a Secret?

By Aidan Marie, age 16, Massachusetts

My name is Aidan Marie and I'd like to tell you a secret ... love sucks.

Love is not bliss. Love is painful; love is hard; love is scary; love is complicated; and love is never a fairy tale.

People always tell you that once you meet that someone special you will be happier than ever. The problem is, you may not be special to them. Hell, maybe they don't even notice you; you're just another person that they happen to see every day, but that doesn't mean you mean anything to them.

What does it matter anyway? You know that in the end there are too many reasons you can't be together, so why bother letting your heart grow even more fragile with every day that you can't be in love?

Have you ever been in love? I'm sure you're shaking your head right now. You'd love to deny it, wouldn't you? Because it sucks when it doesn't work out, and you'd never want to admit that you cry yourself to sleep at night waiting for him to put a band aid on your heart. You say you hate him, because you don't want anybody to know that you've fallen hard enough to break every emotion in your body.

So, you're not in love. You hate him ... don't you?

So you see him every day. And every day he smiles at you and says, "Hey, how are you? By the way, you look very pretty today, as usual."

It makes you weak when you hear him tell you you're pretty. You hesitate, but you know you have to respond.

I'm sure in your mind you want to blurt out:

"How am I? I'm miserable! I hate this. I hate the way you pop into my mind when I should be thinking of him. I hate the way I feel weak when you smile at me. I hate the way my heart beats faster when you walk by. I hate that no matter how bad my day is going, you always seem to make me laugh without even trying. I hate that when you're around, she is nothing."

But instead you put on your best fake smile and say, "I'm good, and yourself?"

He responds with the generic, "good, thanks," and you part ways to get on with your day.

That's how every morning goes for me. Those words run through my mind constantly, and I hope one day I will have the guts to say them to someone other than my dog.

When people ask me if I'm in love, I shake my head and laugh a little. Not me. I can't be in love. I will never admit that I cry myself to sleep at night waiting for him to put a band aid on my heart. I say I hate him because I don't want anybody to know that I've fallen hard enough to break every emotion in my body.

So ... I'm not in love. I hate him ... don't I?

What did you think about this article? Tell us!

First Name:
Email or MySpace:

Sweet Advice
Reader Feedback

February & March Magazine Issues

March 15, 2012

The February and March issues of Sweet Designs Magazine are now online, featuring a combined 53 new articles and features!!

- Cover: Stephanie Lynn reflects on 5 years
- Cover: India (of Darn-licious knitwear)
- Life in the dumps (moving in with my bf)
- The difference between men and women
- Angels among us (parts 1 and 2)
- Arts graduates & the dark night of the soul
- Triple threat (how I survived my teen yrs)
- Dating isn't easy (my true story)
- How to turn not-so-great gifts ... (fashion)
- Ten reasons to love being single
- Taking the big leap (college)
- Valentine's Day (not what you'd expect!)
- The last of the cold (hopefully) (fashion)
- A month full of love
- Ten tips for successful airline travel
- Reasons I love writing for SDM
- Who needs love?
- They're not all the same
- The life I'm glad I don't have (fiction)
- Professional dress/ finding Fendi (fashion)
- An airport anniversary: a true story
- Inappropriate Facebook photos
- The perks of a big city (college)
- A night(mare) to forget (part 2)
- The Anita Blake series (book review)
- Saving June by Hannah Harrington (book)
- Under the Mesquite by GG McCall (book)
- The Lullaby by Sarah Dessen (book)
- If I Stay by Gayle Foreman (book review)
- My sweetheart (original poetry)
- Isn't it funny (original poetry)
- The stranger (original poetry)
- A winter wonderland (original poetry)
- One night valentine
- The thick envelopes (college acceptance)
- Southern love
- Healthy hair and vitamins
- It's a date (dating idea alternatives)
- The 30 hour famine
- School's out forever!
- Marching right back into spring? (fashion)
- Dear John
- When TV shows depict your life
- 3 Fun ways to rock spring's hottest trends
- Neglected teeth
- Starting something new
- Guy movies
- To hesitate or dive in?
- Deadly, by Julie Chibbaro (book review)
- Beastly, by Alex Flinn (book review)
- I don't care (poetry)
- Together, alone (poetry)

Sweet Designs Magazine
The Magazine You Can Write For
The Voice of a New Generation


Your Ad Here