Joining the Marines: Do I Wait for Him?
By Brittany, age 20, Tennessee
I have had a crush on one of my best friends since I was a freshman, and it seems he liked me all that time as well. We finally started going out recently. This is his last year in the area though because he's going into the Marines right after high school, but he's waiting until August to give us more time together. He tells me to write him all the time and we have already planned things to do and places to visit when he's on leave. I really care about him and I would be willing to wait the 4 years of service he does. But should I wait? I know he isn't expecting me to, and he even might make a career out of being in the service. I really don't know what to do. Time is running out and we try to avoid the subject to be happy with the time we have now. So, should I wait for him?
You say he's your best friend, right? Well, my question to you is, why not wait? If he makes you happy, and treats you well, trust me, those guys are truly hard to come by. If it's a trust issue with him being away, you all should have established that at the beginning of your relationship in the first place. Yes, he may make a career out of it, and if so, more power to him, but as the girlfriend or even wife, as it gets to that point, your responsibility is to make sure he's happy. He may not expect you to wait, but that doesn't mean he's not praying to God that you will. If you wind up waiting, and something better comes along during that period, I'm sure he'd understand. In fact, he'd let you go so you can be happy.
I have a recommendation for you, even if you're not a big reader. Do me a favor and read the book Dear John by Nicholas Sparks. It's the exact scenario of what you're going through. Not quite the same storyline, but close to it. She has to make the decision whether or not to wait, but you wind up seeing that she goes through life wondering 'what if'. You just have to analyze how far into the relationship you are with him and talk to him about it. The longer you avoid the future, the more painful it will be once it approaches.
* * * * *
I have a boyfriend named Christopher. Christopher is the sweetest guy in the entire world. He is the type of guy most girls dream of ... their "Prince Charming". He comes straight out of a fairytale to really make the point. He is so chivalrous, kind, sweet, caring, funny, respectful, and the list continues. I love him dearly for all he does for me and how much he loves me, but I've been faced with a challenge. Christopher's family has never supported, loved, cared, or encouraged him in life. When he sees my family he feels sad that his parents are the way they are. It makes me so upset because even with what he has experienced he is so amazing!!!! What should I do to make him feel better? I don't want to say the wrong thing. I just feel scared to say something to make him feel worse at times when his parents are not treating him well. I want to comfort him in the best possible way because he tries not to show it, but I know he's sad sometimes. I just want to be a great girlfriend. What do you suggest? Thanks.
I've been in somewhat the same situation. I had a boyfriend who was amazing to me and treated me the best way anyone could ask for, but with the way his parents were raised, they weren't exactly brought up into being loving, affectionate parents. Although they did support him and let him know he could talk to them about whatever he was going through, all people want that physical affection as well because, as they say, actions speak louder than words.
All you can honestly do is be there for him, your family as well. Don't worry about saying the wrong thing because then you're just walking on eggshells around him, and that's not fair to either one of you. If you do say something, it may hurt him, but sometimes the truth is what needs to be said, you know? I'm sure, as someone who loves you, he just wants you to be honest with him, just as he is with you. So, just be sure to show him as much support as possible, but don't try SO hard you wind up getting let down, because no matter how hard you try, you can't take the place of his parents and how much he is willing to try to please them.
* * * * *
This Could Only Happen on TV ... Or to Me!
Ok, I'm dating a guy who is really sweet, but now my ex started texting me again. He thought we were still dating. To come to find out his brother texted me while he was out of town and dumped me. My ex was really mad and I was super shocked. How do I fix it? Because I like them both, but I think I like the ex more. plz help!!
Honestly, follow your heart, but do remember to use your head. If you like both, ask yourself who deserves you more and treats you better. If they both treat you respectfully, then just follow your instinct. I'm in the situation right now where I've been off and on with this guy for 4 years and I really like someone else who even has a kid of his own. It's quite the confusing situation, but in the end, do what's best for YOU. Don't worry about hurting either guy because they'll find someone else eventually. Do what makes YOU happy. Always live life by that rule.