My Parents Won't Let Me Have a Boyfriend
By Alisha, age 22, Massachusetts
Camila, 15
Camila,
It's okay to be scared - life is scary. You're 15, you're young and have your whole life ahead of you to have fun and make memories. I'd say get to know this boy more and introduce him to your parents, become friends, and hang out together and see where it takes you. Rushing into something can be dangerous. Take it one day at a time and build a friendship with this boy. An easy way to hang out with him and not feel scared: invite some friends and this boy over to your house, maybe for a pool party or a small fire where you can make s'mores; this will make it not as awkward or scary for when you two just hang out, just the two of you.
I hope this helps you.
Alisha
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He Wants to Make My Bad Dreams Go Away
Okay, my best friend V is always saying he loves me. He is about 2 years older than me, and I'm confused. I know I have strong feelings for him, but I'm not sure what they are quite yet. I'm pretty sure I don't "love" him. I do know though that I need him in my life. This might sound weird, but it basically hurts when he's not around. I have been having really bad dreams lately and he told me that he wishes he could hold me tight in his arms to keep the nightmares away. What does that mean? Does he love me as a friend, or more? I'm confused, please help.
Also, me and my mom were at a race, and I met a really sweet boy. He is a year younger than me, but he looks older than me. He is taller than me and his mom and my mom work together. I like this guy and I want to get to know him better. He is a Christian and so am I. We also get along very well. Even his sister likes me! Do you have any advice for me? I've never really liked a guy before. Thanks! :)
Megan, 14
Megan,
Being in love with your best friend is not a bad thing. Him telling you that he loves you just shows that he cares about you and wants whatever is best for you. My best friend Chris tells me he loves me over and over, and at first I thought this could lead into something more, but come to realize, neither of us want to lose one another, and to be honest with you, I would be totally and completely lost without Chris in my life. It will hurt to be away from him, but to know that he will always be there for you no matter what is always a good feeling. I know that when I don't see Chris, it's like a piece of me is missing, but then a random text comes in from him and it's okay again. Whether I see him in person, talk to him over the phone, or just receive or send a simple text to him, it makes me feel like no matter where I am or what kind of mood I'm in, he always knows how to put a smile on my face. V seems like a really sweet guy and cares a lot about you. For me, Chris is the same way.
The sweet boy you met at the race with your mom, it's always good to take it slow and one step at a time. Take the time to really get to know one another and see where it takes you. You're 14 and have your whole life in front of you; take it slow. It's always good to have some things in common at first; it's a good foundation for a life. Long friendship - maybe someday it'll turn into something more.
I hope this helps you.
Alisha
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She Has to Beat Me at Everything!
Well, basically, my best friend and I have been fighting recently. Why? Because she is constantly putting me down in EVERYTHING - she has to beat me ... like grades and boyfriends and races. SHE HAS TO BEAT ME ... and if she doesn't she just says, "I don't care!"
It is really annoying, and then I try and just ignore her, but she always says I'm being stroppy.* We have known each other for 4 years and been best friends I think ever since.
So basically what shall I do? We get on really well but she is really annoying.
p.s: I fancy her boyfriend ... he knows ... she knows ... and she is really spoiled. They never talk face to face ... and she flirts with other guys - she doesn't care that she is with him. She just wants a boyfriend. So basically, HELP!!!!
Liv, 13
* Stroppy - British slang term for being easily offended or annoyed.
Liv,
At the young age of 13, emotions are going to run all over the place, from annoyance to love to caring, etc., but whatever it may be, it is only just a temporary thing. Thirteen is such a tough age and can be confusing at times; it is nothing but a roller coaster ride. Don't look at this brief time period as though you two are fighting. Look at it as a time to grow stronger as friends, and whether or not you guys are on speaking terms at the moment, it's not going to last forever - she can't stay mad at you for the rest of your life. As far as the "she has to beat you" problem, look within yourself and find something that you are good at and strive to succeed in whatever that may be. Whether it's grades or boyfriends or even sports, you are going to be better at something than she is no good at.
No matter what age someone is or if they are going to beat you at something, it's not a race to see who is going to beat who or who is going to win in the end. It just means that she loves to be competitive and she wants someone to compete against. It doesn't mean that she doesn't want to be your best friend anymore. Just take it one day at a time; you don't want to make the matters worse between the two of you. If that's how she has to be, or if that's what she feels is right, I would let her cool down and make sense of all this.
Everyone is going to have someone in their life that is going to feel the need to be better, who is going to feel the need to beat you in absolutely everything that you guys do together. Everything happens for a reason. Each friendship is always going to have rocky paths and all you can do is take it one day at a time.
Alisha
