Drinking Getting Out of Control
By Brittany, age 20, Tennessee
One of my best friends has been drinking A LOT lately and I'm starting to get really concerned. We both would drink on occasion, just hanging out with friends and drinking. We probably would do it once every month or every other month. When we did though, we would get fairly drunk. Eventually, I started getting more involved in my school musical, I made a few new friends, and got a boyfriend, and I just didn't feel like drinking when she would say she was going out drinking for, like, a second week in a row.
We're still as close as ever, but in the past month and a half or so she's been drinking every single weekend. Sometimes she'll drink on the Friday and the Saturday. I don't know if it's anything to be concerned about, but I have to assume that this much drinking for a 16 year old girl is not good!
I've mentioned how she should probably slow down, but she just kinda laughs at it and says "Haha, yea, you're right, I probably should." On top of that, every weekend she's hooking up with our guy friends. She's always been flirty and whatnot, but she used to have actual standards and limits for herself. Now she's making out with a million guys, getting hickies on her boobs, and taking off her bra like it's nothing. It may not be a big deal to some people, but to the old 'her' this would have been huge.
Along with all the hookups she doesn't feel anything when she's sober. Before she would maybe make out with a guy (when we used to drink every so often) and be ashamed that she did the next morning. Of course, we would laugh about it, but she (once again) had those limits of what she would and would not do.
Honestly, I don't know if I should do anything or not. I want to though - she's my best friend!!!! I just don't know what to do. Help?
It sounds to me like your friend needs an intervention. If not, she'll wind up drinking herself to death. I know what you're going through, as plenty of my friends have completely altered their lifestyles from the morals they used to have in middle school. You should honestly sit down and share your concern with her and remind her of how things used to be, you know? I would want my best friend to do what it took to save my life if I were living recklessly.
If talking to her doesn't change anything, go to your school counselor, or even to her parents. Yes, it might piss her off but she'll thank you for it later. But seriously, drinking isn't something to be taken lightly, especially with the constant DUIs and drunken driver deaths that occur. Hope I helped.
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Friend Pressuring Me to Have Sex
Lately it seems like my friends are walking in and out or my life, or it seems like they feel they can treat me however they want. I just recently had a friend delete me on Facebook. Yeah, I know it sounds elementary, but this person considered me her best friend (and vice versa). It hurt me because she didn't say anything and I'm unsure of what the problem is. And then my other friend that I'm really close with is all of a sudden trying to sleep with me. We've been friends for a long time, and I know he likes me and I like him, but all he wants is sex, and that's not what I want. He can't seem to accept that and is always trying to change my mind about my decision and my beliefs (abstinence). I guess my question(s) are: how do I deal with my friends walking in and out of my life? And should I continue being friends with my friend that only seems interested in having sex with me?
At your age, sex is hitting its prime in society, and it's going to seem like that's all guys want, but there are a few left who respect girls. I'm 20, and trust me, it doesn't get any better. I admire you for keeping your morals and abstaining from sex. That is the best trait to hold onto until you find someone who deserves all of you. I know this guy is your friend, and maybe he's a good friend, but honestly, if he was any kind of real friend, he would respect your choice and not try to keep pressuring you. And you personally have to decide whether or not your friendship is worth going through that and the constant pressure. To me, it's not. You can find plenty of guys who will just be your friend.
As for the other friend who deleted you on Facebook, even though it is just Facebook, I know it hurts. I think it's very immature of her to do so, especially without telling you what you did wrong. But honestly, if she wants to walk out of your life, let her. You don't need the immaturity and drama that apparently she enjoys causing. I don't see how she considered you her best friend and did that to you, but trust me, honey, friends come and go while best friends stay forever.