Dear Diary (Part 1)

By Charlotte, age 19, England, United Kingdom

Dear Diary, there's this boy ...

So I've recently gotten involved with a boy that I've known since last year and I'm already confused about where things are going. We're not "together" in the relationship sense, but with how we act around each other, I think we might as well be.

The only thing I'm really worried about is what will change when we become "in a relationship." When you become someone's girlfriend everything seems to change, and I don't think I'm really ready for the change and expectations that are to follow us officially getting together. Right now we do the whole holding hands things and a little cuddle here and there; it would be brilliant for me if we could just stay in that place for a while before we jump onto the next place. But, is that fair on him?

I'm not saying that I wouldn't like to be with him because I really would. He's a sweet guy and he seems to genuinely care about me, but at the same time I don't think I'm ready for the kind of commitment a relationship can require. It's only a matter of time before things get serious, and once you go down that road it's one expectation after the other, and it's not long until you're doing things simply because the other person wants them and, because I don't like disappointing people, I'll just go along with it. At least this way the only expectation is that we'll find time to see each other, and that's an expectation I'm comfortable with.

It's a hard decision to make because, while I don't want to feel pushed into a relationship, I also don't want to drag my feet so much that I lose someone I really want to be with. But then, part of me thinks maybe I'm just delaying something that I can't avoid because sooner or later I know, well, I hope, that we'll get together. So when I look at it from that angle, I don't really know what I'm waiting for.

I think one of the main problems is that all I'm thinking about is the stuff that will change in a bad way. I seem to have forgotten how nice a relationship can be - spending afternoons together, having someone to talk to, someone who genuinely cares about what's best for me. Relationships can be a little too much sometimes, but with the right balance between relationship and personal time then they shouldn't be too stifling. Being away from someone gives you time to miss them so having space between us would actually be a good thing rather than something worth arguing about. It's hard, in the world we live in, to find someone who just cares about your happiness and who likes you for who you are, but, somehow, I seem to have found someone who can actually tick those boxes. When I look at it from that perspective, it doesn't seem like such a bad situation to get myself into ...

Hmmm, maybe I have a phone call to make ...

Stay tuned!

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February & March Magazine Issues

March 15, 2012

The February and March issues of Sweet Designs Magazine are now online, featuring a combined 53 new articles and features!!

- Cover: Stephanie Lynn reflects on 5 years
- Cover: India (of Darn-licious knitwear)
- Life in the dumps (moving in with my bf)
- The difference between men and women
- Angels among us (parts 1 and 2)
- Arts graduates & the dark night of the soul
- Triple threat (how I survived my teen yrs)
- Dating isn't easy (my true story)
- How to turn not-so-great gifts ... (fashion)
- Ten reasons to love being single
- Taking the big leap (college)
- Valentine's Day (not what you'd expect!)
- The last of the cold (hopefully) (fashion)
- A month full of love
- Ten tips for successful airline travel
- Reasons I love writing for SDM
- Who needs love?
- They're not all the same
- The life I'm glad I don't have (fiction)
- Professional dress/ finding Fendi (fashion)
- An airport anniversary: a true story
- Inappropriate Facebook photos
- The perks of a big city (college)
- A night(mare) to forget (part 2)
- The Anita Blake series (book review)
- Saving June by Hannah Harrington (book)
- Under the Mesquite by GG McCall (book)
- The Lullaby by Sarah Dessen (book)
- If I Stay by Gayle Foreman (book review)
- My sweetheart (original poetry)
- Isn't it funny (original poetry)
- The stranger (original poetry)
- A winter wonderland (original poetry)
- One night valentine
- The thick envelopes (college acceptance)
- Southern love
- Healthy hair and vitamins
- It's a date (dating idea alternatives)
- The 30 hour famine
- School's out forever!
- Marching right back into spring? (fashion)
- Dear John
- When TV shows depict your life
- 3 Fun ways to rock spring's hottest trends
- Neglected teeth
- Starting something new
- Guy movies
- To hesitate or dive in?
- Deadly, by Julie Chibbaro (book review)
- Beastly, by Alex Flinn (book review)
- I don't care (poetry)
- Together, alone (poetry)

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