Dear Diary (Part 3)
By Charlotte, age 19, England, United Kingdom
Dear Diary ... why aren't these things ever simple?
So me and the boy have been together for three months now, and despite my nervous feelings towards the start of our relationship things have been going reasonably well. We haven't argued, we haven't fallen out; our biggest problem so far was what I mentioned the last time I wrote to you and after I spoke to him about that things just became better. I was becoming really settled and comfortable, in a nice way, until the other week he sprung the first expectation on me. We've done the usual kissing and cuddling that boyfriends and girlfriends do, which is lovely, but now he wants to take things a little further and I'm not convinced that I'm ready to.
A lot of my friends have already taken this step with their boyfriends and they're telling me that I should just go for it; unfortunately the main reason for them doing this seems to be that they want to hold onto their boyfriends and I don't really think that's a good enough reason to start doing stuff I'm not ready for ... is it?
I obviously like him because, if I didn't, then we wouldn't be three months into our relationship; it just feels like a big step for me. In some ways I almost feel like I'm depriving him of something if I don't go along with what he wants; similarly though, isn't he depriving me of something by expecting me to do these things? I want time, and he expects me to go out without that because he's already ready.
Someone told me that boys develop slower than girls in some ways but quicker than us in others, and after the past week or so I think I can see where that logic developed from. He's obviously more than ready, and I'm just not ...
At the risk of losing my boyfriend, I have to tell him this stuff. I know that he's ready, but he should be able to appreciate that I'm not; and if he doesn't then he isn't much of a boyfriend. Relationships are meant to be about listening and valuing the opinions of each other and if we're not grown up enough to do that, then we're certainly not grown up enough to take the steps that he's asking me to. It's tough, but we have to do these things.
Wish me luck!