Dear Diary (Part 4)
By Charlotte, age 19, England, United Kingdom
Dear Diary ...
How did Christmas roll around so quickly? I can't believe the year has wizzed by so fast without me even realising it! I'm happy to say that me and the boy are still together, and still very happy. It's been a long time since I had a Christmas with a boyfriend but it feels really nice to have someone around during the holiday season.
It might seem a bit deep considering how long we've been together, which isn't long at all when you think about it, but I'm really letting myself go around him now. After all the uncomfortable starters that occurred when we first started seeing each other, it's nice to finally sit back and just be myself around someone I know loves me for it. Considering I spent so long being against relationships, now that I'm finally in one I can really appreciate the worth of them. I think that's what this entry is all about really ...
There are loads of things that make you wonder why you bother with relationships; sometimes they take so much effort to maintain that you find yourself wondering why you're even going through this, just to possibly be heartbroken at the end. It's a slippery slope that not many people are willing to jump on, myself included. They can end badly - cheating, lying, heartbreak. Or they can end for reasons that are beyond your control; unlikely as this is, it still ends in heartache for someone because you're losing someone for a reason that you can't do anything about. And the paragraph above just contains the obvious reasons why people dodge relationships so much; I haven't even delved into the reasons that rarely happen, or the reasons that almost never happen.
Although, it's not all bad. Relationships might drive us a little crazy but they also offer a lot of things: confidence, companionship, someone who really cares about you, for no hidden reason or motive. It might seem like a big risk to take with all the chances that come alongside the good stuff, but, speaking from the position of a self-confessed relationship-phobe, I'm glad I took the chance when I did.
The problem with saying no to everyone is eventually that becomes your programmed response; the risk you run there is that someday you'll say no to the one person you were meant to say yes to - which risk is worse?
Anyway, Christmas shopping to do now - Happy Holidays!