By Shanice, age 15, South Africa
Sweet Designs Featured Writer

Featured Gold Star Writer Bio

You keep your friends close and your enemies closer. But where do you keep your frenemies? As far away from you as possible.

The thing about frenemies is that they have the best of both worlds; they know every secret of yours (as a friend would) and every weakness (as an enemy would).

There isn't a single girl on earth who can honestly say that she's never had a frenemy. Having frenemies is common. Finding and fighting them off, however, isn't. Here are a few tips for spotting a frenemy and how to deal.

Green-Eyed Monster

The best part of frenemies - or the only good part, rather - is the fact that 99.9% of the time it stems from jealousy. Whoever said that "the only reason why someone would hate you is 'cuz they want to be just like you" was right.

Think about it - would you really waste your time, effort, and breath making snide remarks at someone you didn't really care much for? Of course not! But if it was someone you hated? Well, that's a completely different story.

Then you'd spend every minute and every moment possible, trying to make them feel inferior.

As a frenemy does.

It's Not Me, It's You

Along with inferiority, frenemies bring with them terrible guilt. After all, what could you have done to deserve such hatred? Like I mentioned before, a frenemy is born when jealousy hits an overload.

To quote Sandra Bernhard: "There are so few women in general who aren't completely threatened and confused by other women's success. It's very disappointing."

No matter how harshly your frenemy's actions impact on you, remember that it is not your fault. She is the one who's so insecure that bringing others down is the only way she can make herself feel good.

How to Spot a Frenemy

Frenemies come in different shapes and sizes. They have different life-ruining habits and tactics. Some are boyfriend-stealers, some are gossipers. All are as manipulative as they come.

You know you have a frenemy when:

- You have a pal you just can't trust. She's crossed you once before or you fear that she will.

- You try to avoid spending time with her for 'no apparent reason.'

- You have a sinking feeling in your gut whenever you see her. That's your intuition talking and trying to get you to stay away from her. Listen to it - it's your best and most honest friend.

- Another sign to watch for is insincerity. A frenemy is never sincere.

What to Do with a Frenemy

Despite being a fan of 90210, Gossip Girl, Mean Girls, etc., and their frenemy relationships, I strongly believe that this is where frenemies should stay - on TV.

Frenemies are toxic, physically and emotionally draining, and a waste of space. Here's how to untangle them out of your life ... safely.

- Cut down contact with her. Try to lessen the amount of time you spend with her.

- When you do speak to her, don't make any plans to hang out.

- Keep things friendly, but not too friendly. Remember, she's dropped from friend to frenemy - an acquaintance.

- Don't share personal information such as financial problems and pending decisions.

With any luck, your frenemy will get the hint and you'll be frenemy-free.

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February & March Magazine Issues

March 15, 2012

The February and March issues of Sweet Designs Magazine are now online, featuring a combined 53 new articles and features!!

- Cover: Stephanie Lynn reflects on 5 years
- Cover: India (of Darn-licious knitwear)
- Life in the dumps (moving in with my bf)
- The difference between men and women
- Angels among us (parts 1 and 2)
- Arts graduates & the dark night of the soul
- Triple threat (how I survived my teen yrs)
- Dating isn't easy (my true story)
- How to turn not-so-great gifts ... (fashion)
- Ten reasons to love being single
- Taking the big leap (college)
- Valentine's Day (not what you'd expect!)
- The last of the cold (hopefully) (fashion)
- A month full of love
- Ten tips for successful airline travel
- Reasons I love writing for SDM
- Who needs love?
- They're not all the same
- The life I'm glad I don't have (fiction)
- Professional dress/ finding Fendi (fashion)
- An airport anniversary: a true story
- Inappropriate Facebook photos
- The perks of a big city (college)
- A night(mare) to forget (part 2)
- The Anita Blake series (book review)
- Saving June by Hannah Harrington (book)
- Under the Mesquite by GG McCall (book)
- The Lullaby by Sarah Dessen (book)
- If I Stay by Gayle Foreman (book review)
- My sweetheart (original poetry)
- Isn't it funny (original poetry)
- The stranger (original poetry)
- A winter wonderland (original poetry)
- One night valentine
- The thick envelopes (college acceptance)
- Southern love
- Healthy hair and vitamins
- It's a date (dating idea alternatives)
- The 30 hour famine
- School's out forever!
- Marching right back into spring? (fashion)
- Dear John
- When TV shows depict your life
- 3 Fun ways to rock spring's hottest trends
- Neglected teeth
- Starting something new
- Guy movies
- To hesitate or dive in?
- Deadly, by Julie Chibbaro (book review)
- Beastly, by Alex Flinn (book review)
- I don't care (poetry)
- Together, alone (poetry)

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