Dear John
By Shanice, age 15, South Africa
Sweet Designs Featured Writer
And my blind optimism to blame
Or maybe it's you and your sick need
To give love and take it away
And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand
And I'll look back in regret how I ignored when they said
'Run as fast as you can'
As I'm writing this, I'm thinking about how you and I have changed. Somehow, somewhere, the lines of our friendship blurred and we became something more. Not exactly dating, but not 'just friends' either.
And then you ended things without a reason.
I was more shocked than hurt, but I got over it. I was hurt when I heard you'd found someone else - a mere two days after us. But I got over that too. I knew what you were like so I didn't really expect us to last long.
I valued my friendship with you more than anything and so I thought that maybe she made you happy. You certainly seemed to like her.
And now you're upset. According to your Facebook page, someone 'ruined your relationship.'
I'm sorry ... it wasn't me.
Believe me, I wanted to let her know what you were like. I was stupid. They told me to stay away and I refused. I thought you had changed, they were wrong. I made a zillion different excuses for you.
Even now, after we ended and you were with her, I said that you had changed. I thought that maybe you left because you had fallen for her.
But I was wrong. I always am when it comes to you.
They were discussing you during Chemistry last week. I didn't know who those girls were but they mentioned you.
I knew it was you because they mentioned your friends - friends you and I had shared before all this crap started.
They said you had lied to her, that she was upset. She wouldn't stop crying. They also said you pulled the same trick on her that you did on me.
Those weren't their exact words, obviously. But they spoke about the sick game you played with her, the same game you played with me.
She heard about one of the others - same as I did - and she got upset. You insisted the other girl didn't know you - again, same as me.
I wanted to intervene so badly. I wanted to tell them you were a liar, that you pulled the same stunt with me. But I didn't.
I knew you would be upset and so I didn't want to risk it. Stupid move, but I wanted out. I wanted nothing to do with you or your games.
I struggled to sleep that night. It felt wrong to let her fall for you. I knew how that would have ended. But I also knew she wouldn't listen - I certainly didn't.
I consoled myself but insisting she wouldn't listen. And even if she did believe me, I knew you would sweet talk your way out of it.
You did it with me and you would probably do it with her too.
I swear, it wasn't me who made her end things. And a small - practically microscopic - part of me feels bad for you.
But then I thought about how you would have played her like you played me. That's when I know she made the right decision. You deserved it.
My only regret with this whole ordeal was that she left when she found out about the other girl. I had stayed. And we continued playing games for another five months before I decided I was done.
This one was smart - smart enough to dump you before you ruined her.
I still miss our friendship. Probably always will. But this time I'm listening to them and running as fast as I can.
