Boyfriends Versus BFFs
By Stephanie Lynn, age 22, Massachusetts
SDM Editor-in-Chief
Could a boyfriend ever replace your best girlfriend(s)??
Sweet Designs Magazine recently asked the question. Here's what you said:
No, because you and your boyfriend might not work out ... and if you replace your best friends with him, they won't be there after the break-up. Meaghan, 14
I'm not too sure if a boyfriend could ever replace my best friend because my current boyfriend and my best friend are, well, my best friends. It's not like I hang out with one more than the other. So I'm not too sure. Theresa, 15
I don't think any guy could ever replace my best girls. They have been with me through thick and thin, and guys have gone in and out. Emily B., 13
Never. A best friend is someone that is like your sister/brother. You tell them everything, and you have an unbreakable bond with them. Times are fun & they make your life better when it sucks. Boyfriends come & go, no matter how attached you are to them. They break your heart, and your friends clean the pieces back up. You can always have another b/f, but a best friend is hard to find. Taylor, 14
Oh, of course not. Why would a guy replace your best friend? I mean, if there's any possibility that could happen, then the person is apparently not much of a best friend, but the guy is never and should never be more important. Carly, 15
It depends on the relationship. Sometimes when friends begin to drift apart for various reasons a good boyfriend will be there to pick you up when you come crashing down. Also, boys are not usually huge backstabbers like girls are. RaeAnna, 16
No boyfriend could ever replace my best friends. I know that my friends will always be there for me, and no matter how much I love the guy I am with, I know that something could always happen. Plus, who would you have to talk to if something happened between you and your guy if your friends weren't there? Overall, it's never worth it to lose your friends. Elizabeth, 16
No, I don't think a guy could ever replace my best friends. If someone really cares about both people they can make room for both. That's what I'm doing. Abby, 14
It's a very tough subject to touch, but who else could you confide in to talk about your boyfriend than your best girlfriend? Girls need girls to be there for each other no matter what, with or without boys. Edithelise, 18
I don't think a boyfriend could completely replace your best friend, but if you and your best friend got in a huge fight over him, about your best friend hearing he was cheating on you (but this just being a fake rumor), and you get mad thinking she was trying to break you guys up, then he might be closer to replacing your best friend ... but I don't think he could truly replace your best friend though. Kimmy, 13
If you've had the boyfriend for quite a while and you really, really like him, and can trust him with anything, then yes, he can replace your best girlfriends. Michelle, 14
He could never REPLACE my two besties, and my two besties could never REPLACE him. They are all equal in my heart [: Holly, 14
There's no way my boyfriend would ever replace my best friends because through it all your best friends are always there, and your boyfriend won't be. =] <3 Breanne, 13
No way! Your best friend is your best friend because they are always there for you no matter what! That is more than what I can say about a lot of boyfriends. Not that boys don't make great friends && can't be best friends. I'm just saying you need to remember who will be there after the relationship fails. Jenna J., 15
Heck no. Nobody can replace my friends. Sarah, 12
No, of course not. My best friend is always gonna be there for me, but my boyfriend, they come and go as they please. Kristin, 14
Uhmm, it highly depends on how close I am with both of them, how much time each of them spends with me, and how well they both treat me. Soo basically, if a boyfriend treats me better than my friend does, and my friend isn't always there, then yes. But if it's a close friend, who has always treated me with the respect I deserve, then no. Katie, 13
Never. Kara, 15
I think a true boyfriend could replace a best friend. It's not always a good thing that he does, but if you really need someone there to talk to, he should always be there for you ... That's how my last relationship was with this one guy ... but then he left me ... So I guess best friends will always be there, but if he is the right boy for you, he can be your best friend as well. You get what I'm saying ... but that's just my opinion. Sara C., 13
OF COURSE NOT! My best friends would always be my best friends. Just cause I have a boyfriend doesn't mean I will neglect my friends. And even if I married that person everything would definitely absolutely stay they same between me and my friends. I think it's so rude when people blow off plans with their friends to hang out with their boyfriends, unless the friend totally insists that you go with him instead, and then you hang out with her later. Angela, 13
I think noooo. A BFF can't be replaced by your boyfriend. Melissa, 13
If your friends are real, then no, but if all they do is start drama, then yes he can! Christina, 13
Well, I think in some cases they do. Only the times when you are crying a lot, or on Valentine's Day when you just want to hang with your boyfriend. But in most other cases I think that girlfriends should always come first no matter what. Especially when it comes to advice ! Gabrielle, 14
No, guys come and go, but best friends are forever. Chloe, 14
no no no. Deja, 15
I personally think that no matter what happens, a boy could never replace your girlfriend(s) because your girlfriends are always going to be there for you ... well, if they really are your friends they will. Also, a boy getting into that kind of situation between your girlfriends and him is not a good idea. You can't ditch your girlfriends for him and you can't ditch your boyfriend for them. This has happened to me before, and I ended up losing a friend because of the boy getting between our friendship. Nicole, 14
You need to make certain times to see, hang out, or whatever with the boyfriend, and other times with your girlfriends, because you end up not being able to do both, and you're always going to need your girlfriends no matter what.
So I don't think a boyfriend is worth your girlfriends. Maybe some others feel differently, but that's what I think :]
No, my boyfriend would never ever replace my best girlfriend cuz we are best friends, and the boyfriend is important. Don't get me wrong, but your girlfriend is always there for you no matter what, and they do cause problems and drama as much as your boyfriend would. Randi, 15
I think no boy could ever replace your best friend ... Guys may come and leave but a TRUE friend stays forever no matter what, and that is what makes a best friend special. Have you ever had a good girl friend of yours - maybe even a best friend - ditch you for her boyfriend? What happened, how did you feel, and how did you deal? Monica, 14
SDM also asked: Have you ever had a good girl friend of yours - maybe even a best friend - ditch you for her boyfriend? What happened, how did you feel, and how did you deal?
It gets me aggravated that I'm being second to someone else in my best friend's life, especially to a boy! But then, every girl deserves the right to be with her boyfriend as much as she can. All of us know we'd be pretty darn tempted to pick our boyfriend too! Carolyn, 14
Yah, I have it happening right now. She is ignoring and spending almost waking moment with her new man. She claims she loves him, but she said that about her last ... oh, I don't know ... five boyfriends? Well, what also bugs me is that she's not only ditching me and the rest of her friends but she is also ditching her beliefs. She started going out with her new boyfriend and now she has no time to come to our youth group. It really sucks and it's normally really hard, because she used to be so dedicated to her faith. All you have to do is give your friend space, I guess. She'll soon get tired of him, and he'll get tired of your friend, and they will drift apart ... Just tell your friend how you feel - it might help, it might not. 'kay, thanks for your time!:] Mollie, 13
Here's my story. I never had a friend ditch me for her boyfriend, but I have ditched a friend for mine. I'm never going to do that again. I was fairly young, 13. When my boyfriend Aaron and I were going out I was really happy. I really liked him, and I wanted to be with him forever. My best friend Annie saw how I was acting, and at this time we were at camp. So she got really fed up with how I was (Annie eventually told me), but I just went off to do my own thing because I had a boyfriend, he loves me, and I don't need friends anymore. I had a really bad attitude. Finally I realized just what I was doing, and I told myself I was going to stop. Eventually me and Aaron broke up, and Annie forgave me! Jessica, 14
I actually just got in a fight with my so called "best friend" about this today. She started dating this guy, and we used to be inseparable, but now we barely talk. Ever since she started dating him she doesn't talk to me, nor any of her other good friends. We miss her. She used to be so awesome, and now she only cares about him. She even said herself, "No one else matters now." I was there for her through everything, and she used to be there for me too, but now we have nothing. I told her about it, and she denied it, but I hope she realizes what she's doing, because when she needs us we won't be there for her. I just look at it this way - I don't need anyone to live on with my life. You want to walk out on me? Then so be it. You won't be my problem any longer. Kimberly, 15
Yes. We were at the mall and her boyfriend came walking up and pretended to not notice us. Kim (best friend) was like wtf! So he turned around and was like, "Oh babe! Didn't see ya there!" And he offered to take her shopping, seeing as how he just got paid. She said, "Sure! whatcha gonna buy me?!" And he said, "Anything you want ... I've got nearly 1,000 bucks!" And so her and Taylor (her boyfriend) left me at the mall all by myself. And then she came over to my house and tried to say she was sorry and rubbed all the stuff she got in my face. Carissa, 15
I was the girl who ditched her girlfriends for her boyfriend. All of them tried to tell me. But I didn't listen. They again told me, and I went off on them! Soon after that, they said he was cheating on me. I didn't believe them, of course. But I caught him. To this day, me and my girls believe each other, no matter what. And I now know this was one of the worst mistakes I have EVER made. Maddy, 13
This was the worst fight I was ever in. She was going out with this guy that I went out with for like 2 hours - I know, ha ha. But I told her repeatedly that he was a player and that he's no good. He didn't even like her. She told me to stay out of it and whatever, and she didn't care if she got a broken heart, because she wouldn't, because she wouldn't be in love. I was so mad at her because we had been friends since 4th grade. (She was my first friend at a new school.) I just dealt with it. Then me and her made up. I still love that girl to death. Thank God she came to her senses this week and broke it off! Katera, 12
My friend ... well, actually I saw her like a little sister, did that to me. I got really mad at her because I told her not to go out with him, but she still did it. I told her that I got really pissed and she told me to forgive her and I did, but she did it again. So I said, "You know what? I have other friends that are worth it." But after that the guy that she left me for dumped her ... well, actually cheated on her. I felt really bad for her, but oh well, the seed that you plant grows!! So if you had a bff that did that to you, talk to her and let her know how you feel. Forgive her, and if she does it again, that means get another friend that's worth it =] Niurka H., 11
Ya, I have. It makes me feel so mad, especially when I try to talk to her about it. Hope, 13
One girl (who didn't want to be credited) wrote to me with a poem:
we've been through everything - thick, thin, fights, laughs
i would not survive without her
that is why she is my best friend
i love her, she loves me
and not that cheesy i'm-in-love-with-my-boyfriend-of-two-months love
real love
her boyfriend annoys me - calling, texting, whatever, even when he knows she's with friends
she replies and replies and it feels like acid through the heart
and a thousand stabs to the eye
it seems like jealousy
but it's not
it's because i see through this phony act
