Break Away

By Mayra B., age 16, California
Sweet Designs Featured Writer

As a Real Life columnist, I like to share real life problems I have faced during my life, and later connect them with the message I want to send. I hope you enjoy reading this - one of my many, many stories to come :]

I broke away to the hope and faith I had for that relationship. He was my true love, my first love, my everything. Our relationship began so smooth - a couple phone calls a week, not to mention staying up late chatting our lives away and planning for what our friendship could transform into. I still remember everything, and I could retell this story millions of times and never get tired of it.

It was the summer 2005. We had just gotten off school, and we were all ready to put the books away and hit the beach. I was planning my sweet 15th, and decided to ask Alex to be a part of my court of honor. I had met him in my second period class which he, by the way, was ditching. At that moment I didn't pay much attention to him, but with time sparks flew and I knew there was something going on. I was in a relationship when I met Alex, but that didn't matter as I kept in mind he was only my friend. I gave him my number so that if he decided to be in my court of honor, he would let me know. My boyfriend had gone to Mexico for the summer, so I was left aside to spend my summer in the beautiful state of California.

On the first day of July, my friends and I decided to go to Knotts Berry Farm. That was the day Alex finally called. I'm not going to lie. I was really happy. Over the next couple weeks we talked on the phone, and I told him that I was waiting for my boyfriend to call me. He had been in Mexico for two straight weeks and couldn't even give me a call. Alex just said, "I bet he's gonna cheat on you, so why don't you just break up with him and be with me?" My heart screamed yes, but my mind completely said no.

That night my boyfriend arrived in California and told me he had in fact cheated on me during his trip. I was not heartbroken, nor sad. I felt a great sense of disgust for him. But by then it was too late. Alex and I had stopped talking, the result of an incident during one of our talks. There I was with no one.

Summer gradually faded away, and before I knew it, it was September all over again. One day I decided to text Alex and let him know I had broken up with my ex. Later on that day he texted me back, and immediately we began to realize there was a chance for us. I recall him telling me he would check back into our high school just for us to be together. With my pride I laughed it off and said he wouldn't.

It was raining that day, and my friends and I had just left the school's gym where wed gone to check out one of the football players. While I was walking, I heard someone scream out my name, but I was unable to see since I wasn't wearing my glasses. I kept on walking until finally I realized Alex was standing behind me ... right there, just where I wanted him to be. I can't began to explain what I felt, but I can assure you that it was one of those feelings I'll never be able to forget. We walked home, the two of us wearing heavy smiles. He explained to me that it was his first day, but that he didn't have the luck to find me. I couldn't believe he was right next to me, but neither could I believe that he had come back just for me. We initiated our relationship on October 3, 2005, both happy to be with one another.

The bond between Alex and I was beyond that of any average couple. He was my friend, my confidant, my shield. He was there when I most needed him and proved his love in a way I cannot explain. Alex played a very important role in my life. He brought out the best in me and showed me what love was all about. Each day that passed by turned into an unforgettable moment for us. I introduced him to my family, and little by little our relationship grew stronger and stronger.

For the next five months we were one - one soul, one heart, one mind, to be exact. It is difficult to explain, but for some certain reasons I understand, as well as some reasons unknown, our relationship fell apart. I cried each night thinking, "What did I do wrong?" I was an emotional wreck unable to sustain myself. I had just experienced my first broken heart, something I wasn't familiar with.

For a year I tried to move on and leave the past behind, but somehow Alex and I kept bumping into each other. We saw each other even after our break up, but I didn't want to be the girl he would come to when he needed someone, so I broke away from that too. I didn't want that. I wanted "us" back. I always searched for excuses and lame reasons, always trying to find a reason to wait for him. Many people told me we would someday be back together, and to this day still do. There was days when I couldn't pick myself up from my depression, days when I would blame myself for everything. I thought I was nothing without him.

Of course, I was stupid ... I was in love. In 2007, I finally gave love a second chance, now with my current boyfriend Oscar. He is amazing and I'm very happy with him. I thank him for showing me that love has no limits, even when hope is lost.

Alex is always going to be my shadow, no matter what, and he will forever hold a place in my heart. Even though we are not together, I want to tell him I'm grateful that he came into my life and made it better. Now I'm left with the lessons learned, and so I have to say:

Good-bye to the pain, the yesterday, the known facts, the you, the me. Your love was great, but time shows what one needs ... I guess you didn't need me. You had my love right there before your eyes, but you couldn't hold onto it. We both promised each other something, and unlike you, I'm going to keep that promise. Thanks for giving me a permanent smile :]

I hope that you were able to catch the essence of my pain, and understand that life has a greater meaning than just one guy. If you're going through a broken heart, just know that it will all be okay. I don't want to sound like mom ... [lol] but I went through it, I'm over it, and I know what's up.

My one and only piece of advice is to go read He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. It's a book full of inspiration and great motivation that will allow you to understand important concepts about relationships. I can't say that you'll find all the answers to your problems, but this book will leave your mouth open :0 Trust me, it is indeed a wake-up call.

Remember, love is nothing but a word. It's the feeling you put behind it that makes it sooo special. ♥

With that said, live, laugh, love. It's the least you can do.
Ciao :]

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February & March Magazine Issues

March 15, 2012

The February and March issues of Sweet Designs Magazine are now online, featuring a combined 53 new articles and features!!

- Cover: Stephanie Lynn reflects on 5 years
- Cover: India (of Darn-licious knitwear)
- Life in the dumps (moving in with my bf)
- The difference between men and women
- Angels among us (parts 1 and 2)
- Arts graduates & the dark night of the soul
- Triple threat (how I survived my teen yrs)
- Dating isn't easy (my true story)
- How to turn not-so-great gifts ... (fashion)
- Ten reasons to love being single
- Taking the big leap (college)
- Valentine's Day (not what you'd expect!)
- The last of the cold (hopefully) (fashion)
- A month full of love
- Ten tips for successful airline travel
- Reasons I love writing for SDM
- Who needs love?
- They're not all the same
- The life I'm glad I don't have (fiction)
- Professional dress/ finding Fendi (fashion)
- An airport anniversary: a true story
- Inappropriate Facebook photos
- The perks of a big city (college)
- A night(mare) to forget (part 2)
- The Anita Blake series (book review)
- Saving June by Hannah Harrington (book)
- Under the Mesquite by GG McCall (book)
- The Lullaby by Sarah Dessen (book)
- If I Stay by Gayle Foreman (book review)
- My sweetheart (original poetry)
- Isn't it funny (original poetry)
- The stranger (original poetry)
- A winter wonderland (original poetry)
- One night valentine
- The thick envelopes (college acceptance)
- Southern love
- Healthy hair and vitamins
- It's a date (dating idea alternatives)
- The 30 hour famine
- School's out forever!
- Marching right back into spring? (fashion)
- Dear John
- When TV shows depict your life
- 3 Fun ways to rock spring's hottest trends
- Neglected teeth
- Starting something new
- Guy movies
- To hesitate or dive in?
- Deadly, by Julie Chibbaro (book review)
- Beastly, by Alex Flinn (book review)
- I don't care (poetry)
- Together, alone (poetry)

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