By Emily, age 19, Newfoundland
Sweet Designs Featured Writer

When you have an addiction or know someone with an addiction, one of the scariest things you can ever hear them say is relapse. For myself, it's even scarier. My addiction is dieting, fasting, and perfection.

For any of you who have disordered eating or an eating disorder, you know how difficult it is to quit in the first place, but for a really long time, I thought I was in the clear. I hadn't binged or fasted in months. I exercised regularly and in moderation. I didn't even keep track of how much I ate every day. Then I got to university.

You see, at Dining Hall, it's like an all-you-can-eat buffet. And at first, with all the walking, I thought it would be easy to burn off all the calories I consumed. But I began eating more than I could burn off, and then I took all of the shortcuts across campus to save time getting to class, and all of those calories began to add up.

Slowly my pants began getting tighter and tighter, and before I knew it, two months into the semester, I had gained 10 pounds.

Every minute of every day now revolves around the way I look and how I feel in my own skin. I avoid mirrors if I can and wear pajama pants and sweats everywhere I can so I don't have to put my tight skinny jeans on.

I relapsed. I try so hard to fast and I fail, ending up binging because I'm so hungry by the end of the day. I stay up all night and sleep all day in hopes of avoiding the temptation to eat. I sip at Diet Coke, coffee, diet energy drinks, and green tea to keep myself busy ... to keep myself from eating.

I wish all the young girls who look at the celebrities understand that this lifestyle is not glamorous. It's not fun. It certainly isn't easy. It's an addiction and a way of life.

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February & March Magazine Issues

March 15, 2012

The February and March issues of Sweet Designs Magazine are now online, featuring a combined 53 new articles and features!!

- Cover: Stephanie Lynn reflects on 5 years
- Cover: India (of Darn-licious knitwear)
- Life in the dumps (moving in with my bf)
- The difference between men and women
- Angels among us (parts 1 and 2)
- Arts graduates & the dark night of the soul
- Triple threat (how I survived my teen yrs)
- Dating isn't easy (my true story)
- How to turn not-so-great gifts ... (fashion)
- Ten reasons to love being single
- Taking the big leap (college)
- Valentine's Day (not what you'd expect!)
- The last of the cold (hopefully) (fashion)
- A month full of love
- Ten tips for successful airline travel
- Reasons I love writing for SDM
- Who needs love?
- They're not all the same
- The life I'm glad I don't have (fiction)
- Professional dress/ finding Fendi (fashion)
- An airport anniversary: a true story
- Inappropriate Facebook photos
- The perks of a big city (college)
- A night(mare) to forget (part 2)
- The Anita Blake series (book review)
- Saving June by Hannah Harrington (book)
- Under the Mesquite by GG McCall (book)
- The Lullaby by Sarah Dessen (book)
- If I Stay by Gayle Foreman (book review)
- My sweetheart (original poetry)
- Isn't it funny (original poetry)
- The stranger (original poetry)
- A winter wonderland (original poetry)
- One night valentine
- The thick envelopes (college acceptance)
- Southern love
- Healthy hair and vitamins
- It's a date (dating idea alternatives)
- The 30 hour famine
- School's out forever!
- Marching right back into spring? (fashion)
- Dear John
- When TV shows depict your life
- 3 Fun ways to rock spring's hottest trends
- Neglected teeth
- Starting something new
- Guy movies
- To hesitate or dive in?
- Deadly, by Julie Chibbaro (book review)
- Beastly, by Alex Flinn (book review)
- I don't care (poetry)
- Together, alone (poetry)

Sweet Designs Magazine
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