By Emily, age 19, Newfoundland
Sweet Designs Featured Writer
In the world of teenagehood and drama, there's a type of friendship that can become complicated. It's the kind where you never had a normal friendship to begin with. When two people meet for the first time, one can develop a crush on the other quite quickly. This means they are treated differently than one would normally be treated.
My friend Daniel* and I have a complicated friendship, and it started from the moment we met. We eventually tried to date, which didn't work out for many reasons. But we kept sleeping (literally just sleeping) together, because I secretly liked him and he still had feelings for me.
Things got complicated when we stopped sleeping together. I still had feelings for him, but he was trying to get over me. After a lot of pressure from a mutual friend, I decided that I needed to tell him how I felt so I could get over him as well.
We decided that we still cared for each other and would try to make it work. Unfortunately we had started fighting a lot, and I wasn't willing to admit that we probably wouldn't be able to work as a couple. However, we kept doing what we were doing. He even established that we needed to go on a date to see if things would work out between the two of us. We planned it for the Sunday after next and I was really excited.
Then I overheard a conversation between him and a mutual friend. He was planning to go to a girl's house and sleep with her (and not just sleep). Even though they didn't, it infuriated me that he would pull a stunt like that. But I couldn't say anything because I was sort of seeing someone at the time. That night should have been the first clue.
That Saturday night, Daniel, a few friends of ours, and I all went clubbing. When we got home, Daniel and I ended up having sex as friends. Two days later, he ran off and slept with his friend. I didn't know that he didn't have the same feelings for me that I had for him, and he gave me no warning.
Even though we're still friends, I still find it hard not to be mad at him for what he did. But in reality it was my own fault too. I jumped the gun and thought it would be a good idea. Maybe I thought it would bring us closer together. I still haven't figured it all out.
I don't regret what we did. I wish he had told me so that I would have been prepared. I'm still emotionally attached to him because of the feelings I had for him in the first place. Now our relationship is even more complicated than before because he's trying to find where the line is between a semi-couple and friendship, and it hurts me.
I guess what I'm really trying to say here is: Be careful what you do with the person you are attracted to. Establish your friendship before anything else.
* name has been changed