Forever and Ever, Babe
By Mayra, age 18, California
Sweet Designs Featured Writer
Two months ago I went to a basketball game, not knowing what I might bring out of it. As the game ended, my friend and I stayed behind trying to find something to do afterward. We weren't ready to go home and sleep, so we asked some of the boys if we could all hang out. It turns out that one of their bro's had had his birthday recently and wasn't ready to stop celebrating. So we ended up hanging out in his apartment, drinking the night up and writing all over people's faces and bodies. When I saw Jean I thought he was very cute. He had curly hair, a nice smile, and seemingly a great personality overall. We ended up talking and flirting, and it didn't surprise me when I found myself being driven back to his apartment to hang out after. That's how this story began ... and it's exactly how it ended.
We hung out almost every day for at least two months. When we watched movies, he made sure to fix the bed just right so I could see. When we would go out to eat, he would pay and stare at me as I would fold my napkin to place it on my lap. When it was time to go to bed he knew to bring me my favorite pillow, and knew exactly how to hold me during the night. When it was time to do homework, he already knew what subject I needed help with, and was there to carry me through every step of the way. Jean made me feel as though no one else existed. He made me feel like what we had was real. He seemed like a dream come true. I still remember one day we were both lying on his bed, and I said, "Can't we just cuddle together forever?" He responded, "Forever and ever, babe."
For two months I thought he liked me just as much as I liked him. I thought that the reason why he wore that white shirt the night of the party was to please me, because everyone else knows he always wears black shirts. I thought that the reason he stayed up after doing my math homework when I'd given up because I was sick was because he liked me. I thought that the reason why he had called me "Babe" in front of some of his bro's was because he liked me. And I thought that the only reason why we had been hanging out almost every day for two months was because he liked me. I thought wrong.
I knew that I couldn't come out and tell the world about us because I was aware that he had a bad reputation. I thought I could be the one to change that, and I became his girlfriend one day. I guess I was very wrong.
About 3 weeks ago, things became different between us. He pushed me away to the point that we don't talk, text, or even hold a conversation anymore. I'm not sure what happened, but all I know is that he didn't even have the decency to give me any explanation.
Today I look back at those two months and I can't help but to smile. I can't believe it's all over and I can't believe this is where it ended. I'm not going to deny it, as the days go on and he forgets about me - I can't help but to miss him with all my heart. Sometimes I feel like I can't let it go, but I'm determined to do so because I deserve better than this.
Every now and then, we have to forget what we want and remember what we deserve. We owe it to ourselves to protect our hearts, and only let those who are there to love us inside.
I will forget you, Jean ... but forever and ever, babe.