Life is Boring - I Want a Boyfriend!
By Stephanie Lynn, age 25, Massachusetts
You're 13, and there will be tons (I repeat, TONS) of boys ahead - and soon. That's not really a problem - just something to prepare yourself for, because with boys comes drama, hurt, misunderstandings, tears, mistakes ... and responsibility ... and hopefully in time some maturity and happiness. Till then, enjoy being 13. Do something totally new - try a new activity you've always thought about, write a story (and send it to us!), set a personal goal and work to achieve it! Life's too short to ever be bored! :)
Ok, that said, I'm kinda glad you're not experienced or flirty. The first girl to have a boyfriend or first to catch every boy's attention is often not first in terms of finding a lifetime of happiness. And whether you're first, last, or somewhere in between, there are many opportunities (and many heartbreaks) ahead. Focus on yourself - your growth, your life, your goals - because, as anyone who's been around a while will tell you, having a boyfriend doesn't make you any more fulfilled or complete than you already are.
I had this boyfriend named Diego, and we were dating for a long period of time, and then he told he wanted to break up. At first, like every girl, I broke down into hysterics, and I did not come out of my room for the next couple days! It was horrible! The worst thing is that when I finally think I am over him I see him with another girl! I was sooo upset! I was crying for such a long period of time! The thing is that I was talking to him the other day and he told me that he still has feelings for me and he does not like the other girl, but he does not want to date me because he does not want to be in a relationship! Life is so confusing! Do you feel that I should go for him again or what do you think I should do?
Guys!! Rrrrrgh!! Do they EVER change?? The other night I was watching the old 1985 movie Peggy Sue Got Married (much of it set 25 years earlier in 1960). Nicholas Cage (much younger then) played a teenager who reminds me so much of your Diego. They're in three minds all at once ... or else they keep changing from one to the other.
Bottom line - as much as it's confusing and he has hurt your feelings, it's all part of his growing up process. The fact is, whether it's you who's changing or him, teenage relationships are not permanent. Teens are like cement that's still fresh and wet. You can still mold it, shape it, and write things in it, even scoop it up and start all over again. It's ok to fall in love, but you always need to remind yourself not to take it too seriously, or else your heart will be broken, time and time again. So go for it! ... but remember ...