Sweet Advice

By Stephanie Lynn


He Says He Loves Me ... Should I Believe Him?

Well, here's the thing ... I've been dating this guy for a couple of weeks. Our parents don't know because we didn't want them to give us the "talk". The only people who know are friends. My best friend liked him. I'm not sure if she is over him yet. He wrote her saying that the only reason he talked to her was to get to me. I was talking to her on the phone when he asked me out over the internet. She told me to say yes. Well, I don't think she meant it. She just didn't want him to feel bad.

Well, now I really like him. We don't go to the same school, so I wouldn't know if he cheated on me. To make it worse he said that he got asked out 5 times in 1 day. His sis said that she saw some girl over him. He writes me and says stuff like "I luv you & I miss you", but I just don't know if I should believe him or not. I asked him if he would ever date my best friend. He said, "No, I like you too much."

So here come the questions ... Should we tell our parents about us? What about my best friend? What do I do if she really isn't okay with us dating? I don't know if I should believe him when he says that stuff. Even though he is Christian & I don't think that he would lie or cheat on me, I just don't think that he means what he says. I haven't figured out how to really trust him. Please help me!
Racheal, 15

Okay, first of all, about your friend - you're worrying over something there's no need to worry about. Your friend told you to go out with him, so you did. She's not making sense, so relax about that part! The second part: Your bf is bragging about how 5 girls asked him out. That's a sign of him cheating. Guys like that don't care if they hurt their girlfriends' feelings, and it doesn't matter if he's a "Christian" or not. My ex always bragged that he went with almost all the girls at school, and he ended up cheating on me, and he's a "Christian". So, you see, to guys it's only a game, so just watch out. And you can always ask his sister if he's doing anything he shouldn't be! Good luck!

About you and your best friend, well, I think you should go ahead and talk about it in a quiet place where it is just the two of you girls. I liked this guy so much once, and the fact is that my best friend knew I liked him, and he asked her out. She asked me if she should say yes. Well, I didn't want him to get rejected, so I told her to say yes. But seeing them together really hurts a lot. Your best friend might feel the same, as if you just want to die sometimes. So the boy is Christian, and you think he won't lie or cheat on you? Well, everyone lies, even if we say we don't there are times we just have to lie. And it doesn't matter what religion you are. I hope that you think over everything I told you and consider following my advice. I hope everything works out.

Your Truly,

He Said He Didn't Want a Girlfriend Anymore

Just recently I asked out this guy. We were really good friends, and we have known each other for about 3 years. Anyway, he said yes. But three weeks into our relationship he broke up with me. He said that he didn't want a girlfriend anymore. And that made me burst into tears. I still have feelings for him. I always recall the great things I did with him. Now I try to hang out with other people and everything, but I still cannot get him off my mind. What can I do?
Jontae, 14

This guy is a jerk for breaking up with you in the first place. I'm sorry to say this, but most boys do this. They don't care about what our feelings are, and they ask their friends for advice on things they shouldn't need help with. Boys have their own opinions.

I think maybe you should talk to him and tell him that you still have feelings for him and that you can't get him off your mind. Maybe he will realize what he did was wrong, and you can become friends again.
- Alexis

The Hot and Cold Guy

Where do I start? This guy Clayton and I were really good friends. He was in 7th grade and I was in 8th, soo we got to know each other and he became my BEST friend. Pretty soon we got to flirting, like 24-7, and he was all I could think about, so we started dating. Well, things were going great for about a month when he just said, "It's over", and walked off, which really hurt! So we became friends again with a little time, and pretty soon it was my birthday. We went to a restaurant, and he got me a gift, and he wrote happy b-day all over my sidewalk, and threw candy everywhere. It was a lot of fun. In a couple days he said that he hated me and he wouldn't tell me why! Now we are still not speaking and I don't like him, but I still kind of have feelings for him. What should I do???
Chelsea, 13

This sounds just like me and my ex. We were close friends since the 6th grade and started dating in the 7th grade. He was all I could ever think about and we hung out all the time ... until he decided that it was better for us to be friends. I couldn't believe it, but I figured that he wasn't ready for a relationship at the time. We were still close friends until he stopped calling me to see how I was doing and coming over to see me. I think when guys do such a thing because they still have feelings for you, but they don't know how to show them or even how to just be a friend. I think you should just call him (if you want), tell him how you feel, and ask him why he's being such a jerk and why things had to end this way. Tell him you still would like to be his friend. If he says he doesn't want to ever talk to you again, at least you told him how you feel and what the whole scenario meant to you. Stay strong, and remember there will always be others in your life.
Amber Nikole

How Do I Know If He Really Loves Me?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 months. I love him soo much. We have dated before, but I truly love him!! So here is my question: I'm not sure if he feels the same way about me. So how do I know if he truly loves me without asking him? Please help me!!!!!
Amie, 15

Right now you should be happy you have someone you love and care about so much about. Your boyfriend obviously likes you. When he is ready he will tell you he loves you and how he feels about you. If you decide you don't want to wait for him to tell you first, you can take him somewhere private and tell him how you feel about him. If he doesn't say anything back, it may be because he doesn't feel the same way or he is intimidated about how you may react to what he would say. If he does say he loves you back then give him a hug or do something to show how much you appreciate his feelings for you.

Good luck with your boyfriend. I'm happy everything seems to be working out for you both.

You can't really know for sure if he feels the same way about you without talking to him about it, but if you're questioning his feelings for you, I think there are 2 possible options ... #1: You're overreacting. You think that maybe you aren't worthy of someone loving you, and it's just your own insecurities keeping you from fully believing that he loves you. Or, #2: Maybe he does question if he loves you, and if that's true, then maybe it's best to just keep your relationship casual and give him time to mull it over. A lot of girls fall hard and fast, whereas most guys take a bit more time. Don't ever expect a relationship to be super serious after 2 months. Just chill out and enjoy your time with him.


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What's My Next Move?

I've got this problem. I've just moved three times in the past year and a half. And twice, I've had to start school in the middle of the year, which doesn't help me much either. I've moved to England and I've had to start in the middle of the year again. I found friends quickly, and I settled in fairly fast. I moved sets into the highest set in math and there's this guy in my set. He's so adorable and nice and funny. But he's already got a girlfriend. Then I heard a rumor that he and his girlfriend broke up. Outside I felt sympathy for him, but inside I was bursting with joy. I asked him on MSN if he really did break up with her and he said yes. I was so happy and I thought I had a chance. We talk on occasion but it's nothing more than a couple jokes and all. Even though he's single now I don't know what my next move is. Please help me out!
Yellie, 12 (U.K.)

Okay, Yellie, I know what you're going through. 'He's single, I have a chance.' And yeah, it's always hard to think from there. I'm in that compromise kinda right now as I write this to you. I'd say talk to him. Give it every chance. Get to know him. It always helps. Keep a close watch on his personality! How he treats you, and just let it go from there. Once you feel it's time ask him. Don't put your heart out on the line. Just make it short, sweet, and simple.

Hope it all works out.

Light and Love,
Raven Marie.

Give him a bit of time to heal. Even if he broke up with her give him time. Break-ups need time from both sides. However, once it's been a bit of time start talking to him more often. Flirt a little and take a risk. He may end up liking you too, but without taking a bit of a risk you will never know.

He may not, but at least you know you gave it the best shot you could, and in the end this is a large accomplishment in itself.

He Cheated 3X ... Should I Dump Him?

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and ten months. He cheated on me three times the first year we went out. He still flirts a bunch, but I haven't thought about the whole cheating thing for a while. Do you think I should have broken up with him?
Megan, 15

To be brutally honest, the answer is yes. Coming straight from experience, I know: Once a cheater, always a cheater. I dated a guy for a year and a half, and he cheated on me (that I know of) 5 times. Well, after we broke up, his next long term girlfriend he cheated on as well. I was one of the girls he cheated on her with.

So, if he has done it more than once, chances are he will continue. Since you have taken him back already he has it in his mind that no matter what he does you will still be there. Giving him that kind of power over you is bad. It's bad because it sometimes leads to worse things, and even if not, he will still hurt you again emotionally.

Breaking up with him might be hard and not what you wanted to hear, but it is the truth and your best choice.

Best of luck.

Hard advice from Lauren, but good advice, trust me. Megan, be sure to read the article "Cheaters" in Sweet Designs Magazine, authored by Cassondra Lynn.
Stephanie Lynn

Yes, I'm sorry, but yes, no girl should be cheated on! And especially three times. I mean, come on, the third time's the charm. And if he really likes you or loves you, then he would not cheat on you, much less think about it. He is also a young teenager, and not all boys mature fast and know what they want when they are in high school. If you really want to stay with him, then go ahead, but if he cheated before he could cheat again. "Once a cheater always a cheater."

Good luck. I'm sure you will make the right decision!
Stephanie M.

You may not be thinking he is still cheating, but honestly, chances are he has again. Cheaters, once they get away with their act, and you come back, feel what they are doing is okay because, even if it's not, in the end you will still be there for them.

It's just like any criminal - if they succeed once, the chances they will continue again is a whole lot higher. You deserve someone better. Any girl does. No one should be with someone who doesn't truly love and respect them.

I Think about Him Every Second of the Day

I really like this guy named Jeff. Well, actually, I know people will think I'm crazy, but I love him. He is all I can think about every second of the day. When I see him, even if I've had a crappy day and am very depressed, I automatically smile. He is the nicest, sweetest, most cutest thing ever. I really think I love him, though you probably think I'm too young for love (as do I), but it is a feeling much different than anything I have ever felt for a boy. I don't want to come on too strong, but I don't want to live without knowing if he likes me or not (which I think he does!) What should I do? Also, do you think the fact that he is in 9th grade and I am in 8th grade will make a difference in anything?
Chelsea, 13

Loving someone doesn't require an age, so don't feel stupid. However, if you do end up dating him, don't do anything you will regret. You have many years of dating ahead of you, even if you don't want to believe it.

As for the boy, his finding out can be slightly tricky, but sometimes being up front is a good thing. Hinting that you like him works too. Sometimes asking a mutual friend to find out works because then you know whether to back off after or else tell him.

As for the age, it does make a big difference. Junior high and high school are really different. I suggest first finding out if he even likes you, and if he does, then take it slowly, because by summertime it won't matter as much because a freshman dating a sophomore really isn't any big deal. An 8th grader and 9th grader dating is a little different, but not a whole lot of a big deal.

Good luck.

To answer your second question first, no. I personally don't think that him being a 9th grader and you 8th will affect much. Now I know they aren't you, but I know two couples who were in the same situation and they're both still going strong.

Now for your first question, you might have heard this before, but just talk to him. You could talk to him in a certain way that doesn't seem too strong, or you could take a risk and tell him how you feel. Now you don't have to flat out say I Love You. You might want to save that, but just telling him exactly what you said about him being nice and sweet, and that you really like him, and you want to know if he feels the same way!

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What Does It Mean?

Ok, I like this guy, but he's 3 years older than me. I don't exactly know if he likes me. He says I love you sometimes, but I think he means it like a 'sister' love. He sticks up for me and talks to me all the time. He makes jokes about me when he's around his friends, but when he's alone with me he's so nice and caring. What does this mean?
Sara, 12

When I was 11, I had a crush on one of my friend's brothers. He was 2 years older than me and was always fun to be around, but when I look back on it now, it seems so silly that I would even have wanted to date a guy who thought of me in a sister-type way. Sara, he doesn't feel that way about you - he wants to be your friend - but don't consume yourself with thoughts of a boyfriend. Not only is he too old for you, but you're too young for anyone. Have fun. Be a kid. Don't be concerned about dating yet. Believe me, in a little while, you won't feel that way about him, and you'll be able to grow up having him as a friend.


It does sound like he likes you, which to you may sound great. But I still do have a concern about the age. I am concerned about it for two reasons ... one being your parents: Are they okay with you dating to began with, and if so, someone three years older?

My second reason is, although you may not notice it, there's a lot of difference in those three years. Three years when you're older is nothing, but when you are in junior high and high school those years make a world of difference. You will both be going through tons of changes, and if you aren't around the same age, it will cause problems.

I suggest finding someone closer to your age, even if you think you really like him and if he also likes you.


He Says He's Gonna Break Up with Her

So I like this kid, but he's going out with one of my really good friends. He always flirts with me on our bus, and he tells me he's gonna break up with her, but he says that he hasn't seen her. What should I do? Should I go for him?
Brittany, 13

NO. You should NOT go for him. He is obviously lying to you. Of course he sees his girlfriend. He's just telling you that so he can have his girlfriend and you too. That's one of the OLDEST tricks in the book. Forget about him.

If he is with your good friend going after him isn't the best idea. You will cause a lot of problems between you and her as well as between him and her. Friends should always come before guys because in the end your friends will be there and guys will come and go.

I Don't Want to Be Too Aggressive

There is this guy who has just recently started to talk to me on Myspace. I see him at school and all he will do is smile. I really want him to like me. I don't want to be too aggressive and tell him how I feel, so what should I do??
Krystianne, 17

Well, it's a good sign that he started talking to you on Myspace. That might mean that he likes you! Next time you see him around school flirt with him. It will show that you like him without being too aggressive.

Since you mentioned that you and this guy just started talking on Myspace, well, you guys should become better friends before telling him you like him. You should just wait for a while, and you'll know when it's the right time to tell him you like him. But he can also like you since he smiles when he looks at you at school. But technically if it's like a flirty looking smile from a guy, he likes you; if it's a blunt looking smile he doesn't like you. Don't mess up like what I did. I surprised the guy when I said I liked him. He said he wanted to become better friends though. So I waited, and we went out also, but in the end we broke up because our lives turned in different directions at some point in time. Hope you're able to follow my advice, Krystianne.

Take Care,

There's nothing wrong with wanting someone to like you! But hun, don't forget that MySpace is completely different from reality, and is nothing but cyberspace. Although he talks to you on MySpace it doesn't mean he's willing to talk to you in person. The question you should ask yourself is this: Do I know him enough to really understand who he is? Sure, you like his smile, but do you know enough about him to like him as more than a friend ... more than someone you got to know through the world addiction, the Internet? Merely questions I'm suggesting for you to ponder. I hope you make the right decision, and good luck!
Jessica Jay

He Lets Me Wear His Jacket

idk what to do. Please help me. Everyone tells me to tell the guy I like that I like him, but it makes things awkward b/c he avoids the subject. And idk, we've been friends. He lets me wear his jacket and he's so sweet. I'm afraid to tell him. idk what he'd say. idk, should I tell him? And how should I bring that up?
Melissa, 14

What do you want to do? Do you like him enough to tell him, or do you want to wait it out? I know it does get confusing sometimes. I've even done it. The school year ended. We haven't talked much. And I moved. See, but I doubt that you're going to end up moving at the end of the year, or moving schools. If you like him enough to where it matters, tell him. It may not turn out the way you want, but it may work out exactly the way you wanted.

Now, the 'bringing it up' part ... I'd start with casual talk, but that's me. You may want to say, "Hey, I have a question for you. Do you like me? 'cuz that seems to be the case." ... Or bring it out slowly.

I have a guy whom everyone says likes me. Every time someone brings it up he gets really quiet. I mean, I already know he likes me. Maybe the guy you have is a bit shy when it comes to talking about that situation.

Peace. Light. Love
p.s ... I hope this helps.

If you really like him you should tell him. He make not have the same feelings for you, but if you never say anything what will happen if he feels the same way and is also too shy to say anything to you? You may in the end just lose your chance to be with him altogether.

He may not like you, but in the end at least you know you've put your all into the situation and you didn't miss your chance. Things after may be a little different, but then just let him know you still want to be friends and everything will work itself out. If he really is a great guy he won't push you away unless you yourself push him away because he doesn't feel the same way.

You can never truly be happy in life without taking a few risks.

Good Luck

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I Can't Figure Out How to Approach Him

Well, there is this guy ... this wonderful guy who's wonderfully cute! But I can't figure out a way to talk to him. I hardly see him, but when I do, he's also with his friends, and I don't want to go up to him when he's with his friends. When he's rarely alone I'm too shy to say anything, or I don't know what to say!!!! I would reeeallyy like to get to know him, but I don't know how ... HELP???
Mandi, 17

If you have a Myspace, that's a great way to talk to him alone. Try adding him as a friend and chat with him. If he doesn't have one, then you're going to have to talk to him the old fashioned way. Next time you see him alone go up to him and ask him a question. If he goes to your school, ask him about an assignment in one of your classes you have together.

Do you have any mutual friends? Have you thought of walking up to him and being, like, "So you're [insert mutual friend's name here]'s friend, right?" which gives you common ground to start the conversation? Or even having that friend walk up and talk to him with you there to form a group conversation?

Or, there is also the "Add him on Myspace" approach. Sounds kinda cheesy and corny, but you can always send him a message saying, "Hey, so I always see you around school, so I thought I would stop by and say hi."

Well hope those suggestions helped some.


I'm 18, He's 30 ... How Do I Break It to Mom?

I have recently exchanged numbers with this much older guy from my English class. He's 30, and he wants to take me out this weekend. We haven't talked much though. I'm just afraid that my mom won't agree with it because of his age. I really want to tell her and not do anything behind her back. How can I tell her that I'm really interested in him?
Monica, 18

Hi there, Monica. I'm gonna take it that you're 18, like you say, and not older or younger, and not judge because my mum met my dad when she was 17 and he was 36. My nana wasn't happy with them dating because of the 19 year age gap, and to be honest, I completely agree with her not being happy. If it were me, I would be in a lot of trouble for it. Sure, you like him now, but think of it this way ... when he was 12, you were in nappies. This is my opinion, but why do you really think he's interested in you? I can tell you one thing: it isn't because you have a good personality or brains, as he is only interested in one thing with somebody that much younger than him, and I'm sorry, but it isn't either one of those. Do you think he wants to sit with you and your friends when you discuss how cute Orlando Bloom is in the latest magazine, or what colour lipgloss suits you best? Because I can assure you, he isn't.

Your mum definitely won't agree with you going out with him because she was young once too, and the last thing any mother wants is for her daughter is to be exploited by any man, let alone one who is 12 years older than her. You obviously know that it is wrong, as you have written to the Sweet Advice Team about how you should tell her. In your heart you know that it's wrong, because if it wasn't you would be able to come out and tell her straight. I don't think you should even consider going there. It doesn't seem like a very smart idea. That's my opinion. If you don't agree with it, don't listen to it, but I'm sure that I'm not the only person who is going to be saying this.

Hope that helps,

Often older people marry people 10+ years older than them, but at 18 dating someone that much older than you is most likely only going to hurt you. This guy could be very nice and you may be compatible, but you're at an age when you're having fun and still growing up, whereas he is at a stage in his life when most people want to settle down. I suggest focusing on your studies and maybe dating some guys closer to your age. Also, if you respect your mother's judgment, then why would you do something she wouldn't approve of? If she doesn't approve, maybe it isn't the right decision.


First off, I think you still tell your mom about your date. It's better not to keep things from her. She'd be more mad finding out later. I think she'd understand. Young women go for older guys because we mature faster. We don't want to wait for guys our age to grow up. We'd like that they are sophisticated. So you should keep that in mind. Best of luck.

Well, Monica, personally I don't think age matters at all, but since you two are 12 years apart I'm not sure how your mom will take it. Still, explain to her why you're interested in him, and tell her that he is a really nice guy. Also, maybe get to know the guy more before going out with him ... just in case. That's what I would do. I hope this helps.

I Met the Perfect Guy at Summer Camp, But ...

I go to camp every summer in Jamaica, and I live in New York. I met the sweetest guy there 3 years ago, and I've loved him ever since. In the early years, he would flirt with me, but not just me, with other girls too. It kind of made me angry in a way, and last summer ('07) it was our Junior week of camp for 13-17 year olds, so we had a banquet. I didn't say a word to him until Tuesday. (Camp starts Sunday evening.) We didn't have like a real conversation, but we did talk in a way. I snuck glances at him every single day when I could. When everyone from camp was together I'd look at him for about 30 seconds and hope he didn't look back. I would say he'd look back 35 out of 50 times. I think that's why he asked me to the banquet that following Friday night! He didn't ask me himself. He sent his friend to ask me. I was overjoyed the boy I've liked for years finally liked me! But then at the banquet it looked as if we were too shy to talk, which was weird because that same morning we talked like it was nothing. I think he took it as an insult, but I don't think he wanted to let it show.

Now this is my problem. Camp is only a week. He lives 1,000 miles away from me, and I'm just moving on to high school next year, which means I would definitely meet new people, but I don't wanna let go of him. He's basically the perfect guy for me. I'm not sure what to do.
Janel, 13

I'm sure this boy must be a sweetheart, but not only does he live a thousand miles away, you are starting high school, and not being able to get over a summer crush won't help you meet new people. Also, remember that at our age, dating shouldn't be your first priority. Good luck in high school!


Tell him how you feel. Let him know, and see if he feels the same way. Plus, if he doesn't your going into high school, it's a sea of boys. I'm sure you won't be single too long, but remember you can have just as much fun with or without a guy, just as long as you can be yourself and hang with friends.

Good Luck,
Mia C.

He's Popular, I'm Not

Okay, so there's this guy at school. He's in my math class. I like him a lot. And I think he does too, because every time I see him he looks at me and talks to me. So one day before homecoming he asked who I'm going with, and he was about to ask me if I wanted to go with him, but the teacher interrupted! After that we didn't talk that much, but we still liked each other. Oh, and I forgot to tell you - he's a football player, so that makes him popular, but I'm not. So when I asked my friend to ask him if he wanted to go with me, he said he might have gone with me, but he already has someone. I was going to invite him to my birthday, but I have no clue where to celebrate it. Any advice??? So what should I do? Should I let him go, or still try? =(
Anna, 15

So yea, I had this same problem (somewhat). So if you are really committed to this dude, and you feel that if you stay around for a while, and have no regrets that you didn't move on, then you should stick around. But not for long. There are other fish in the sea, and you shouldn't spend all your time on one taken fish when there are many, many other good single fishies! And yes, you should invite him to your birthday. If a relationship doesn't work out, you could always be good friends.

Don't expect your friends to know everything about him. You have to talk to him and get to know him and his life yourself. You can't expect your friends to keep tabs on a guy you like. Just ask him if he likes you. Invite him to your birthday party if you want. If you're worried about finding a place that's "cool" for a party, just call around - bowling alleys, skating rinks, pizza places - all cool places to hang.

Good Luck,
Mia C.

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The Hug - Signal or No Signal?

I've been liking this one guy - let's say his name is Bob - all of my freshman year. I didn't really talk to 'Bob' much, but sometimes I did. I stopped liking 'Bob' when it got to summer because I realized I probably wouldn't have a chance with him. But now, since it's our sophomore year, I'm starting to kinda like 'Bob' again.

I started to like him again because one morning at school I was walking with my two friends. Let's say their names are Mary and Paula, and 'Bob' came up to us. He started talking to them, then he said hi to me. 'Bob' also hugged me when he didn't even hug my friends, and 'Mary', 'Paula', and 'Bob' are close friends. After that had happened, my friends 'Mary' and 'Paula' told me he's probably starting to like me.

But I'm not really sure. I even asked around to those who knew 'Bob' if he hugged girls a lot, and they said he didn't. I also asked one of my friends to ask 'Bob' if he liked me, but then my friend said that it's hard for 'Bob' to open up. 'Bob' is one of those guys a lot of girls like, probably because he's a football player. So what should I do? Should I just start talking to him more, or what?
Jasmine, 15

Of course it's always better getting things straight from the source instead of asking around. So the best way to get "Bob" to start opening up is to start talking to him. Hugging you made some kind of notion that if you did start talking to him he wouldn't ignore you. Starting out friends is always the best way to go, and if it's meant to be, it will evolve itself.

If you like "Bob", then tell him. Don't go to friends or whatever. Don't let other people handle your own feelings. Ask him, find out, and if he's not sure, just offer to hang out as friends and get to know each other. Maybe you two will end up dating, you never know.
Mia C.

Taking it to the Next Level

Anyway, there's this boy. His name is Joel. He's an INCREDIBLE guy. I have never really "officially" dated him. We've just been in that "like kinda sorta more than friends" stage for almost a year now. Every time I got close to dating him, we'd get in a fight about something really stupid.

Now we're back at this back-and-forth stuff again, and I don't know what to do. I went to homecoming with him, and I really started to like him more than ever. I've had him over to my house and we hang out constantly. I don't know if I should ask him how he feels, or if I would ever have a chance with him, or if I should just give up on him entirely. I don't want to ask him out, because I did that, and then I took it back, and then we just stopped talking.

He's the only guy I've ever liked like this. It's like a major crush - horrible. And I don't know what to do with him anymore. I'm confused. I want him to ask me out because girls shouldn't ask guys out. I think he likes me, but he's such a flirt - I'd never know. I'm just afraid that now, being in high school, there are more girls for him to find, and I'll just be old news. And I don't want that to happen. I want him in my life, but I don't want to do this back-and-forth thing with him. I'm just confused. Please help.
Brianne, 14

Okay, basically you like the boy, but you're afraid to tell him. But you don't want to be old news. ... Then DON'T BE. And the whole thing about "girls shouldn't ask the guy out"? ... NO. If you take that approach, then you're definitely not gonna get anywhere. Sometimes, honestly, boys are afraid to ask the girl out for many reasons, so us females have to take action.

But anyway, back to the main topic. So you say that every time you two get close to dating you fight over trivial things. That may be because you two do like each other, but you're afraid to get into a possibly serious relationship. Now by what I've read you two seem like you're really close friends, so taking your relationship to another level might not be as hard as it seems. He probably does like you, but you can never be too sure. Confront him about it. A little talk can go a looong way! :)

What's weird is, I went through the exact same thing as you just a few days ago! Haha. But, you know, I was the one who eventually got up the courage to ask him out. I know, it feels weird for girls to be asking guys, but hey! It sometimes feels good to be different and break traditions. Anyway, about him being a big flirt and all, I hate it when guys do that! The simplest way to get out of this is by asking him straight up if he likes you more than as a friend. And because of all this fighting and "friend stage" thing, talk about taking it slow at first; this way, you guys will know for sure if you're ready to take another step. If things don't work out quite as you planned, just know that being friends is more than enough. Also, know that it's worse to be one friend short and miserable than staying friends and being happy.
Jessica Jay

If you like a guy, don't waste time. Tell him how you feel. The worst you could get is finding he doesn't like you, but it's better than guessing every time you turn around. Just flat out ask. You'll probably be surprised with his answer. But remember, if he doesn't like you, you still have a friend. And it's high school. Like you said ... Guys are everywhere.
Mia C.

Is He Using Me?

I like this boy, but I'm not sure if he likes me back. At times I feel like he's using me ... I don't know what to do. Should I keep my distance or what?
Daniela, 14

You definitely have your mind going in the right direction. If you don't know if he likes you or not, the easiest way to find out is just by straight out asking him. Don't go to his friends, because it'll seem as if you were getting into his privacy way more than you should. If you feel like anything's wrong at all though, especially if it feels like he's just using you, keep a safe distance from him until you know for sure that he's that kind and funny guy you've always thought he was.
Jessica Jay

If you feel like he's using you, don't second guess it, don't waste your time. A guy who uses you isn't worth it. Move on and find a new interest.

Good Luck,
Mia C.

How to Start a Conversation with a Guy

Hi, I want to know how to start a conversation with a guy I like, but I don't know him, and he doesn't know me, and I don't want to sound stupid. Help!
Ember, 14

This has happened to me, Ember. I liked a guy, yet we weren't so close with each other. When I wanted to start a conversation with him I just started with a simple "hello" or "hi". That always works when your trying to get to know each other at first. It might seem pretty awkward when you do say hi. As long as you don't blank out or anything, because if you do blank out, and he says something, he might think he's talking to a wall. As your goal, say hi more often, and in no time indeed, you'll know each other even better. Wish you luck, Ember! :)

You've asked a question every girl needs an answer for at least once in her life. Even I've been through this so I know how scary it can be. When you walk past him at school or lunch at first just say "Hi". Yes, it's simple, but I have done this many times and it always works. They nearly always say hi back. And then after about a week of this, if you walk past him and he's alone, say "Hi, I'm Ember. How are you?" He should reply with his name and how he is, and then just continue from there. It sounds scary, but it's really quite simple. I hope this helps you, Ember.

Good luck,

Does He Feel the Same Way??

Ok, so I know this guy, and we've "hooked up" before. I have feelings for him, but I don't know if he feels the same about me. How can I see if he feels the same way??? PLEASE HELP!!
Nikki, 16

I know how you feel because the same thing is happening to me right now. Just try talking to him and develop a healthy relationship. You can't always tell when a guy likes you. Just be his friend and things will start to build on top of that.

Just ask him, and if you like him, tell him. That's all there is to it. Don't be afraid to share your feelings. Maybe if you let him know how you feel he will be more comfortable telling you how he feels.

Good Luck,
Mia C.

He Says I'm Stuck Up

Well ... I like this guy, but let's just say he's not the best guy ever! I haven't talked to him in a while because he called me a stuck-up. Am I overreacting, or should I just move on?
Ericka, 15

What you're doing now is just stating the obvious. He calls you stuck up. You get upset, and then you act stuck up. That accomplishes nothing, so prove him wrong and talk to him.

You're not overreacting. The guy is a jerk - he called you a name. Don't keep holding on. He's just going to trample on you more! It hurts, I know, but lift your chin up and move on to the next. You deserve better!


So ... it seems that this guy may really be interested in you, but once he said you were stuck up, well, that changes the whole story! He may be trying to play hard-to-get, but he can also just be a jerk who is afraid of himself and being around girls since he may not be such a hottie.

People who act in those ways aren't worth 'sessing over, and I think you should move on ... He's just a crush, and believe me, there are thousands of other fish in the sea that you don't know about yet ... So move on and let this guy be stuck up himself! He may one day realize how wrong he was calling you a stuck-up and may want to be with you himself! Till then I assure you there will be more guys to date and get to know for sure! Sorted!

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We Agreed to Wait ... But Now It Feels Awkward

Hey, I have been going out with my boyfriend for about two weeks. Before we started dating we were best friends for about a year. We are both already comfortable with each other because we already know each other like the back of our hands. We are one.

Yesterday we went to the movies and things started heating up. We went back to his car. But then we both stopped what we were doing. I was nervous and scared at the same time. We didn't do anything, but it felt as if we did. I told him that I didn't want to rush into things with him. He agreed. He said, "I really care about you and I want to wait." I was a little confused.

But now it feels kind of awkward between us. I'm glad that he respects me. I just want to know if that was the right thing to do. Is it wrong that I already feel comfortable with him after two weeks?
Laura, 16

No, it isn't wrong. It's not something I would do or recommend, but this isn't about me. And if you 100% believed that when you both agreed in the back of the car that it wasn't the right time, then you shouldn't have doubts. Now it isn't right to think all about yourself, but you kind of have to put aside the fact that it might be a little awkward between you two. You have to respect and recognize and come to a decision about what you want, and not have doubts just because he doesn't agree with your decisions. If he doesn't agree then you shouldn't be with him anyway.

You're asking "Is it okay to be so comfortable already?" Well, the answer is no. You guys have been friends for a while, so you already trust each other. However, you said things got a little heated already, which concerns me a little. Maybe if you were dating for some time, but you're sixteen and have only been dating two weeks. If things are getting this heated right away things can go bad later on. So be careful - don't do something you aren't ready for or aren't comfortable about doing.

If you do choose to take things to a new level make sure you take the right precautions. I know you have heard the sex talk before, but the issues (STD's, pregnancy, having sex you regret) are a lot more common than you think and can happen to anyone, even if you think, "Oh, it will never be me."

But if you are comfortable with the guy, then trusting him with your heart is okay. It is alright to feel a high degree of trust for him when there is a long history prior to your dating. Good luck.


He's the Shy Type

So there's this guy, and I kind of think he likes me, but I don't know for sure. I don't talk to him, but I want to, and he seems like the shy type. I've tried messaging him on Myspace, and sometimes he writes back, but most of the time he doesn't write back. What should I do?
Jenny, 15

Just casually walk up and say hi and smile - leave a lasting impression on him. Make him think of you. Then, after a couple days, increase the chat with "How are you?" or "How's your day going?" If he mentions something about a class he was just in and you can relate to it, then you're on the way to a conversation. Little things that wouldn't seem important at the time could make for a short conversation that could lead to more. Don't rush him, just take things slow and at a steady pace. After a while, ask what he's doing on the weekend, and invite him to hang out with you and maybe a few friends. Most good relationships start with a good friendship.

Good Luck ;)
Mia C.

I'm going to give some straightforward simple advice. Everyone always says 'listen to your heart'. I think that's the best advice for your question. You just have to go with what your heart says.

Good luck,

Should We Give It Another Try??

Okay, so there's this boy I like ... a lot ... and he claims to like me too, but it seems it never works out. I'm sooo confused. I really like him. Should we give it another try??
Alisa, 15

If you both like each other, why not give it another try?!? And try to avoid the things that broke you guys up the first time. And if it doesn't work out this time, then maybe you two should just stick with being friends. Best of luck!!!


Give it one more shot, and if it doesn't work out, just move on with it!!! Chances are if it doesn't work out the first time a second time won't work either. But different people could mean different things. Try it - that's the only advice to give. But if your heart's not in it, then don't waste your time.
Mia C.

I'm Too Shy to Tell Him

Okay. So I like this guy, but I'm too shy to tell him. We are friends, but don't talk a lot, and I think I should know more about him. Everyone says I should tell him, but I don't want it to be awkward. What should I do?
Kirstin, 14

You can still tell him you like him without being straightforward and making it awkward. Just be subtle with it. Hint around the fact that you like him, and try to find out if he likes you back. Now some guys just don't get it, and if he's one of those guys, then maybe you just need to listen to your friends and tell him. If he doesn't like you then at least you tried.

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